I am in love

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If you knew your potential to feel good, you would ask no one to be different so that you can feel good. You would free yourself of all of that cumbersome impossibility of needing to control the world, or control your mate, or control your child. You are the only one who creates your reality. For no one else can think for you, no one else can do it. It is only you, every bit of it you

― Esther Hicks

Recently lots of things happened to me ,some of them were good and some were bad however I learnt to let things go and I freed myself .Once I were a control freak but then I realise that life is so short and it’s not point wasting my time and energy on things which didn’t matter most .I am very much alive and I am in love .I am in love with the music ,I am in love with the nature ,I am in love with people.I learnt to appreciate life more and value what I have .I learnt to master my skills .As I grew older I realised that I have to do things what I always like it .It is been said that “Do what you love.” But it’s not enough just to tell people that. Doing what you love is complicated.So complicated and sometime that seems almost imposibble and I highlighted it seem almost because Imposible could easily becomes possible with just a little hard work and perseverence .

The very idea is foreign to what most of us learn as we grow older . Life had two states by definition : some of the time we had to do things either voluntarily or involuntarily and some time we do what we want it without to care much. Occasionally both things were mixed together you could choose to dismiss if you didn’t like it.The notion of ,,love ” appears inextricable .Fear ,confusion ,lack of confidence make things go worst .We get immersed into a routine that actually is time wasting and we lost by definition the purpose of ,,being in love”.We are afraid of being used ,we are afraid to love and trust become like a bridge on fire .

I am here today …A version of me but much older ..I am in love ….I pay attention to every and single detail …Today, I display arrays of emotion and I reflect .The blunt affect, which is wildly challenging and new for me , feels like a homey and comfortable way to convey feelings, which I might feel vulnerable to otherwise express.I am discovering myself .Some Days I feel like a rose bud ,shy and inexperienced ,somedays I am open as rose petals .Friends and mostly friends have told me that I am hard to read, which always surprises me since for much of my life I have felt as if I come across as an overly emotional person. I feel things strongly, even if I don’t show it. And I’m terrified of showing it. Unmetered emotion strikes me as undisciplined, it makes me feel out of control. I respect emotional precision. When you’re in love you feel alone and vulnerable. Love is the area outside of suffering, not within it.For me the experience of love has always been more primal than this. For me, love is fire. Love is that open echo of a desert where you constantly feel the need to shout a name but don’t know for sure that you are going to get anything in return.This is isomorphic to the principle that you should prevent your beliefs about how things are from being contaminated by how you wish they were.But I can not change things …I love life …I love people..I am in love ….

 

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