Count your blessings

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“If we never experience the chill of a dark winter, it is very unlikely that we will ever cherish the warmth of a bright summer’s day. Nothing stimulates our appetite for the simple joys of life more than the starvation caused by sadness or desperation. In order to complete our amazing life journey successfully, it is vital that we turn each and every dark tear into a pearl of wisdom, and find the blessing in every curse.”

― Anthon St. Maarten, Divine Living: The Essential Guide To Your True Destiny

Lately I have been going through a rough path and through my falling I have questioned my existence on earth.Although my confidence and self esteem was shaken badly,my faith and beliefs kept me going.On top on that I have an amazing network of friends who were/are so supportive and reminded me that I should hope for a better tomorrow.

Through my lowest time I have learnt to be more humble and how to live a minimalist life.Things that once gave me power and joy became non important and through rigorous selection I set new priorities in life.

Once on top,the power and pay differences tend to give individuals status and prestige.However what make us unique is the value we add to companies or to the people we work with.But what everybody should remember is nobody likes the boss, and you are lonely at the top. You are the person who always has to make the decision, right or wrong. Wrong decisions may screw-up your job. On top of that there are legal liabilities as well as restrictions that some others don’t have.

So where we stand when we reached the end of the road? After months of agonies and despairs I recharged my batteries and with the first fiveish with an incredibly bright, creative, thinking-outside-of-the-box attitude I have decided for a full makeover of my priorities,choices and decisions.

I am not saying this time I will be right or wrong but ultimately the responsibility for the final decision rests with me. When it appeared that low confidence and self esteem might have damaged my status quo it is my job to make the decision, right or wrong and to go along with whatever life throws at me.

To decide whether a change is right for you, you have to weigh the pros and cons. You have to decide what best suits you and what’s best for you, not what matters to someone else. However, if you don’t like being responsible for the actions of yours and others changes the way you do things may be a bad choice. In the real world, it’s not going to be that cut and dried. There will be some things that appeal to you and some that don’t. You have to weigh all these factors and decide.

As for me,changes welcomed a new way forward.Friends,family and people around me supported me to see priorities from new perspectives.

Nevertheless I learnt to ask for help.I was far too proud to seek for help especially when I needed most.While it may sound simple enough, accepting help is something that is extremely challenging for all of us at one time or another. It can be especially hard for those of us who believe that seeking help undermines our independence and our ability to cope. However, by refusing to accept help, we disregard the fact that we are social beings who need to cooperate with one another in order to thrive.Not wanting to show vulnerability can cause us to refrain from asking for help. When we think about it, the emotional exposure required to ask another for help can be quite uncomfortable.

One of my favourite book about vulnerability is written by Brene Brown and this book is a hidden gem by all means.Its called “Braving the wilderness” and teaches to embrace the way you are,the quest for true belonging and the courage to stand alone.

Furthermore it teaches us vulnerability is a luggage filled with emotions that govern behavior, it’s safe to assume that seeking help would be the emotion most closely linked to violating a rule that swallowing up our pride.

Once in a position to accept help the transformative power of art is in this sharing.If another person is being kind in offering help, accepting it at face value is the first step. Yes, there are people with bad intentions, but there are also those who want to do good by others.In my case I found out there are angels among us humans.When we think of angels we think of beautiful beings with wings. This is not always the case; there are angels who walk among us on earth that are real people with a mortal body. These wonderful people seem to be sent from above and are just what we need at the moment we need them.

But a funny thing has happened to me since then. I actually feel. . . Blessed.Humbled. Relief. Freedom. Happiness. Optimism about what lies ahead.I am in complete control of everything once again. Now the rest of it has been handed to me, if not on a silver platter, then perhaps on one made of old copper. The kind that has turned so green you would initially discard it as worthless, but when you take a closer look and clean it properly, you realise its value is far more than you ever imagined.

My friends,family and my protective angels taught me the truth.I have to remain strong and have faith.I have to believe more.I have to pray more and trust my Creator.I have no idea what lies ahead. What I’m looking at, what I’m facing, it’s madness — both in the literal and figurative sense. But I’m not frightened. At this very moment, I’m not so much as batting an eyelash at what may come. I can handle it, whatever “it” may turn out to be.

The road, for me, it’s come to an end. In front of me there is a dense jungle, filled with all sorts of dangerous things. But I have made myself a pathway in, and I know that while danger awaits, so does rare beauty.

And for that I would like to thank to all people who supported me through my journey.And to sum up my article I share this quote with you.:

“Live your truth. Express your love. Share your enthusiasm. Take action towards your dreams. Walk your talk. Dance and sing to your music. Embrace your blessings. Make today worth remembering.”

― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

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Disruptive,trailblazer in becoming

0fc983db5991e104b844cafec4f1f3f4“Leadership is not about men in suits. It is a way of life for those who know who they are and are willing to be their best to create the life they want to live.” — Kathleen Schafer, Leadership Connection

The climb to the top can be tough going — for anyone.And to be a game changer is much tougher than expected especially when we live in a world dominated by men.But for us life has onwards and upwards.Everyone expected to be the kind of woman who is kind and compassionate,be immediately girlishly inmate ,unaffected and mostly have no angst filled atitude.So what is the secret to become disruptive and lastly a trailblazer? Flaubert once quote “Be regular and orderly in your life ,so that you may be violent and original in your work.

But as women, there are particular hurdles that can make the journey upward toward positions of power and influence — in myriad spheres — especially challenging. Whether we’re forging our own paths or following in the footsteps of those who’ve gone ahead, these trailblazers, innovators, explorers and disrupters can encourage, motivate and push us to reach new heights — in business and in life.I wish the path could be simple and filled with enthusiastic supporters and mentors.I wish that every single woman has the resources to make her mind up in regards to her becoming.I wish everyone could have the opportunity to make the right choices.I wish the world would change overnight, but that’s not very realistic. What can change overnight, however, is how we women view ourselves. I refuse to be put in any box and I encourage anyone to pursue their passions no matter how crazy or unrealistic may sound.I am aware that life is not a narrative story with a lot of charm but it is not always bound to end badly.And although we hinge into families,mentors or work colleagues involvement ,the last deluge of invitation has to come from within if we want to succeed in life.Not every single woman came from a history of prodigies ,from rich family feuds or have tiger parents who can push up to the breaking points.But I know for sure that hard work will catapult you to become successful.The most important advice I could give to myself and to the young and unexperienced women is to redefine our understanding of what is important to us and to set a clear roadmap based on expectation and dreams.Nevertheless we have to understand our belonging and how to raise strong and how to change who we are in order to become who we want to be.

Dont try to storm your life with unrealistic expectation and then become disappointed when the course of your life will lead in the middle of nowhere but rather stay connected and informed about whats going on around you.It is important to root the status “ I am totally useless” with “I can do anything” and inhabit a new routine of becoming a stumbling road maker that will craft a new path into the world.Search for the real you,the powerful and fearless woman from within as the true belonging doesn’t require to change who you are but rather it requires you to be who you are.The most powerful abilities and knowledge are buried deep inside and often require a good shake up or a real awakening call.I know that fear of unknown can lead us astray but the end of the road has a beautiful reward.

I apologise if I sound to overly confident but as Maya Angelou once told us “The price is high.The reward is great”

Now I dare you to imagine your path beautifully laid out in front of you.Are you planning to be disruptive or not? You know the answers and I would love to know your thoughts….

Let it go

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“Renew, release, let go. Yesterday’s gone. There’s nothing you can do to bring it back. You can’t “should’ve” done something. You can only DO something. Renew yourself. Release that attachment. Today is a new day!”― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

Many times in life we go through difficult paths.And it goes to a stage where the only option you have is to  flat-out hit rock bottom—emotionally, financially, mentally, and spiritually. It kind of throws you in the deep end and the crash could become lethal in many ways therefore you see everything from  distorted lenses and sometimes you feel that this is the end of you.You feel that you have crashed and thats all,its nothing what you can do to get better.

And probably lots of people have the same mindset,the negative mindset that fed the entire you  and it gets you to a point where survival become the greatest war you could ever faced when alive.

It’s in those dark moments of despair your anger and frustration become so great and you declare once and for all to never again accept such mediocrity from yourself or from others.

The thing is that how many times in life we have experienced the hardship? Once,twice or even more ? And once you see a pattern you somehow un-see it.When the same thing keeps repeating itself its hard to pretend that is just a coincidence.Once down,all  dysfunctional behaviours are finally revealed. If you never hit your lowest point, the dysfunctions continue to go unnoticed and unchecked, playing out under the denial radar and inevitably creating bigger dysfunctions and a harder fall down the track. Until the bubble bursts, you cleverly delude yourself into thinking everything is just great—and your life ends up being built on a big, fat lie and a false foundation.

I have just finished devouring Brene Brown’s book: the gift of imperfection.She said and I quote:”Owing our story and loving ourself through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.”

I could not agree more with Brene.We are totally imperfect and should not change the way we are however acknowledging that we have flaws make us move forward in a much more easier way.And when life gives you a hundred reason to break down and cry ,show life that you have million reasons to smile and laugh.How much we know and understand ourselves is critically important but there is something more important : the power to stay strong and to love yourself.When at the bottom you question your motives, other people’s motives, your beliefs, your fears, why you did things, why you didn’t do things, why you attracted certain people and circumstances, why you succeeded, why you failed. The very fabric of your life is turned upside down and examined in raw detail. It’s from this point that you build again, from the ground up, with a fresh perspective based on your renewed sense of clarity.

We encounter obstacles on every journey we make and this is a very constraint and researched proof fact.Our world could be tossed around within seconds and the best lesson I have learnt so far is not to fix things at that very moment in time. Our disempowering patterns and behaviours become glaringly obvious, and the triggers that kept us  repeating those behaviour patterns come into sharp focus.It is better to slow down rather than relying on old standbys ,pushing through,soldiering on,sucking up all the bad actions and emotions.And when we struggle to believe in our actions and or worthiness,we hustle for it.Then shame began to reign our existence.Shame keeps worthiness away by convincing us that owing our stories will lead to people to think less of us.We are afraid that people wont like us if they know the truth about who we are,where we came from,what we believe,how much we struggling and what make us to act the way we do,what make us human.In addition to the fear of disappointed people we are also afraid that that if we tell our stories,the weight of a single experience will collapse upon us.There is a real fear that we can be buried or defined by an experience that,in reality,is only a sliver of who we are.You realise the bottom is actually a great springboard from which to push yourself up to the surface—away from the darkness and back into the light.Brene also mentioned that we should stay strong ,remain positive and get inspired by people around us.She said:There is a crack in everything .That is how the lights get in.And if you can see the little tiny light you know for sure that is time to let it go but also start a new chapter,have a new beginning.

Letting go of the old creates space for the new and soon new ideas, people, opportunities, talents and gifts start to flood into your experience. As you empty your cup, so to speak, you fill it back up with stuff that you actually want, instead of accepting what was unconsciously passed onto you. Life hands you a fresh cup of reality.Whether overcoming adversity,surviving trauma,lost a job,ended a relationship,having a sense of purpose and perspective in our lives allow us to develop understanding and move forward.

Only once you are willing to explore your darkest depths can you truly be of service in the world. Only when the old foundations crumble can you begin to build again on new and solid ground.

And to begin you should start by buidling your survival skills and hence develop an ability to become independent. Although it is possible to continue to depend on your parents even on other siblings or your spouse for the rest of your life, it is in your best interest to realize that everyone in your life that you depend on will one day no longer be around. Some will move away, some will stop talking to you, and they all will eventually die. The only person that who will always be with you is you. If you depend on yourself for support, you will never be let down.Life is hard and making mistake is part of the learning process. Dream high but in the same time ,be realistic .No one will pay for your food ,your house or your clothes .Just because you deserve something does not mean you will get it. Realize and accept these things as a fact of life. Keep your goals in sight, stay happy, and do not let the unfairness of life demoralize you. Life is hard and everyone else has had to overcome obstacles, why can’t you seem to figure it out?Life is like a jungle .Learn to survive with the tools and equipment which are available. Find out what it is like to survive out on your own, without help from anyone. Clearly, this is not a good idea if you can not afford it financially. Refrain from depending on others to define your goals for you. Life is what you make it.Understanding our behaviours and feelings through a vulnerability lens rather than strictly through an addiction lens could change all your life.Stop getting addictive to people and try to deal with vulnerability via simple steps.Release attachments.Stay positive and create steps that will aid you to a better tomorrow.There is so much to write and debate but I will stop here and I want to sum up with this beautiful quote:“We can’t be afraid of change. You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in, but if you never venture out of it, you will never know that there is such a thing as an ocean, a sea. Holding onto something that is good for you now, may be the very reason why you don’t have something better.”

― C. JoyBell C.

The talent delusion

I don’t know about you folks but I like spending my weekends reading a good book or a magazine.As probably most of you know I am a Chartered Manager and a Chartered member of CMI.Being a chartered member gives me the benefits of reading the management magazines that I always look forward to it and also getting used to the resources available via the CMI website.I guess I just enjoy getting  used to all  the perks available  to me:).

Today I came across an article called “The talent delusion” written by Tomas Chamorro-Premusic.

First and foremost I was hungry for a good read and I have devoured the article like a little minx,my hunger got deeper and deeper as I delved into each page so decided to share some little food for thoughts collected from the article.I munched it over and over so decided to spell out the words of wisdom.:)

Tomas argues the benefits of the doubts of what the talent is and how the myth can be de-mystified.

He stated that some of the major problems we face are due to a misunderstanding of what talent actually is,and a general tendency to overrate our ability to manage it-a talent delusion….

So folks, are we delusional in our thinking that the talent myth can be debunking ?

He continues to debate that there are discrepancies in the ideas that the link between individuals and organisation are not done at the same level and there is a mismatch between individual view of their own talent and how talented the organisation think they are.

I believe that you can not create a genius in a pile of mud but rather taking care of your previous seedling.Employees get nurtured and flourish when they have the best resources and usually the best organisation are equipped with the appropriate tools.In fact,even when its narrowly defined such as in the case of intellectual ability,there is only a weak relationship between people’s perceived and actual talent.

Are our managers equipped with the right ability to spot talent?These incongruent talent perceptions cause problems for both parties:for employees,it leads to unrealistic expectation and a sense of entitlements and for organisation ,it leads to promotion and hiring the wrong people at the expense of overly looked and better alternatives.Nevertheless individual success has less to do with talent because too many people advance their career without helping their organisation to advance.

Like Tomas ,I believe that talent must be cultivated and enriched to achieve the fullest potential.Although is often assumed that talented people are good at things without being taught their full potential must still be developed even when they display a clear predisposition for greatness in their field and their talents are expressed early on.

I could not agree more that the environment is the best catalyst to cultivate success and that reminds me of the Child genius.These little kids have remarkable abilities to retain information however you  could not imagine how many hours these kids spent to develop their talents.They have been taught from the early age on how to retain information but also on how to collect and enrich their vocabulary.Often the language used by these kids is overwhelmingly outweighed even by Oxford dictionary.However coaching ,mentoring and self taught process are the key to success.This is why in talent like in many domains the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.

Tomas also argues that we are often less talented than we think and he gave some examples about the Kardashian phenomena and how these individual became richer by infesting the media with the iconic image of being special even in a bad way.

And although individuals are talented in different and diverse ways there is a tendency of acting in a very hedonistic way and people raised the bar based on their expectation(although most times it has been created  by unrealistic measures).

I want to think that everyone is talented in a way or another however we should be realistic in term of on what we are talented and how can we put our talent into practice,I believe that you can not become the CEO of a tech company because you have won the X Factor for being the best singer in the world.

Tomas sums the article with Mark Twain’s quote:It aint what you don’t know  that gets you into trouble.Its what you know for sure that just aint so.”

I ultimately sum my article by another famous quote:” Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. Calvin Coolidge

Why me?A pep talk about an intellectual takeout

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Do you ever question yourself about why have you been picked as the best employee,the named girlfriend,spouse or even the alluring and sexy ,smarty business partner?

What is the difference between you and the others?What is your secret and what make you stand out from the crowd?Although I participate in the recruitment process and I recruit at all times ,there are times when I question myself about why I always tried to pick the best.Whats the secret to the demeaning purpose of getting picked by the right recruiter,company ,spouse and so forth..

Here’s my definition: You are unique,with a strong personality and you are by definition an  intellectual.By that, I mean that you already passed the status quo and you are named in the farther category of the ones -the ones who fits most of the bills.Millions of us track ourselves all the time. We step on a scale and record our weight. We manage businesses.We ran for the president. We count what we eat and how many steps we do a day. But when the familiar pen-and-paper methods of self-analysis are enhanced by sensors that monitor our behaviour automatically, the process of self-tracking becomes both more alluring and more meaningful.We will try to add more purpose to the list to make it meaningful by getting personal and person centred.Maybe, there are no definition of what is the best,or why have you been tracked and named the one.I agree that perfection is not attainable and what we have is to constantly  chase our dreams .Our purpose is not merely to survive but to thrive and to be devoted to learning. I actually feel something akin to an orgasm when I learn. The behaviours and the actions often intertwined and they are the main breed of a social stance.The ones who always work towards goals in any ways possible.Not matter about the difficulties and pros and cons,they will always thrive based on positive or negative reactions.

I aways believe that we should plant seeds of achievements in our own mind and have a constant reminder that this is the path we should follow  no matter what.In life like in business you should be particularly interested in cultivated our  own garden,constantly planting new seeds ,tiling the soil and getting rid of the weeds. If you want a good harvest, you’ve got to put the work in and you’ve got to properly plant the seeds.When my mentor told me that I should become a “gardener” I did not really fully understand the message.I was somehow dazzled by striking pose of success and how to attain it rather than thinking  of how to obtain it.I muddled the water expecting to get faster responses to my problems.And waited and waited for answers.

It wasn’t until years later that I began to contemplate his  message both metaphorically and literally.  By this time, I had spent countless hours delving into management and leadership concepts.  I have started to feed my craving brain with food for thoughts .I have challenged everything I learnt so far and thought about it over and over.I created channel of communication I never thought I was able to do it.I built up new bridges and did not burnt the old one neither.  My mentor and my connection network delivered a myriad of intricate and thought challenging philosophies. I found their work  to be perennial wisdom and the stepping stone for my awakening  call.

I always want to know why.And my whys were bottomless. Why is it raining? Because there are clouds in the sky. Herein the knowledge itself became my  goal. I was running the hunger game therefore I’ve got  a dopamine rush from knowledge. And I followed my brain wherever it led me.I have started to think outside the box and the more I question things my answers became elusive ,complex and fascinating.

Why me ? Why him,her or them?I found people around me alluring, beautiful inside and out.But I also found predators of social life,People who can do anything to simply wreak havoc on your emotional and mental well being.

And being honest I have learnt one simple and valuable lesson: To stay away from people who are to charming and have shallow or superficial personality.They have a special way of luring his or her victims into their web. While some go for the generic route of giving gifts and compliments, most spend their time figuring out what makes an individual feel special. And each person needs to be charmed in a different way. 

The best way to recognize this is by looking for signs of authenticity. These will show up in their inconsistent and insincere behaviors and if others speak of them poorly or not like you know them.

So before questioning yourself why you,try to look in/from within.All the answers are in there and if you feel confused,non confident or lack in anything you should try to address these issues .But if you feel confident you should may awe your personality and authenticity.The world is not about you at all time and when your time comes you should be fully prepared.Until then,you should stop questioning why me and try to answer on how you made a difference as each day passed.What made you special and I am pretty sure that will suffice for now….

What do you want?

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We err because we are human but on another hand we do create the world we live in within.

We human are not perfect in any means.Although we seek perfection in everything we do,the notion of perfections dime dire along the way especially when dealing with people.

Carnegie once said and I quote:

When dealing with  people,let us remember we are not dealing with creature of logic.We are dealing with creation of emotion,creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.

Sigmund Freud said that everything you do spring from two motives:the sex urge and the desire to be great.

I want to reiterate again the question?What you and I really want?In one of my post I wrote about Marslow;s needs and what we need to fulfil our life .As matter of fact some of our needs are usually gratified as we need them in order to survive e.g. food,sleep,good health,money ,well being,relationship and so forth.All these wants come with a price if not well balanced but we do need them in a order or another with except one-the desire to be important,to do great ,to make a difference.

I believe we crave and we long to be someone,to be important and the deepest principle in human nature is to be appreciated for yourself,for what you are and what you do.

Carnegie also said that if our ancestors hadn’t had this flaming urge for a feeling of importance,civilisation would have been impossible.

It was the desire for a feeling of importance that inspired Dickens to write his immortals novels.This desire inspired Christopher Wren to design his symphonies in stones.This desire inspired Obama to become the first black president in history of America.The desire to change the technology inspire Bill gates to change the way we communicate and translate data and so forth.

The desire to feel important also make you and I want to get the best job,wear the latest styles,drive the latest cars and talk about our brilliant achievements.

But the desire to feel important has also a dark side when lure people to engage in bad activities or even to destroy their own lives.It could also go to some extent that will lead people to go insaneWith life once wrecked,all dreams ships on the sharp rock of reality which often is become harder to digest.

I am just thinking that we often criticise the failure and lavish the success and these attributes often groom our way of dealing with people.We do illustrate the truth in a very harsh way and rather to provide incentives to our desire to succeed we tend to criticise our own existence -our own to be.

The best example was given by Livinston Larned in his letter to his son “Father forgets” and this is a beautiful tribute to the relationship he had with his son.

‘’Listen, son: I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guiltily I came to your bedside.

There are the things I was thinking, son: I had been cross to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw some of your things on the floor.

At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You spread butter too thick on your bread. And as you started off to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand and called, “Goodbye, Daddy!” and I frowned, and said in reply,

“Hold your shoulders back!”

Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As I came up the road I spied you, down on your knees, playing marbles. There were holes in your stockings. I humiliated you before your boyfriends by marching you ahead of me to the house. Stockings were expensive‐and if you had to buy them you would be more careful! Imagine that, son, from a father!

Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library, how you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes? When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption, you hesitated at the door. “What is it you want?” I snapped. You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge, and threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, and your small arms tightened with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither.

And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs. Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What has habit been doing to me?

The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding‐this was my reward to you for being a boy. It was not that I did not love you; it was that I expected too much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years.

And there was so much that was good and fine and true in your character. The little heart of you was as big as the dawn itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matters tonight, son. I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and I have knelt there, ashamed!

It is feeble atonement; I know you would not understand these things if I told them to you during your waking hours. But tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, and suffer when you suffer, and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my tongue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it were a ritual: “He is nothing but a boy‐a little boy!”

I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yet as I see you now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that you are still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother’s arms, your head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much.-W. Livingston Larned’’

One of the most neglected virtues of our daily existence is appreciation.We neglect to give praise and appreciate of what is in front of us.Lets chase thinking of our accomplishments,our wants,our desire to do great.Lets for once cherish moments,good work and treasure what is among us and that is the most gem that flatter our existence.Lets try for once to do great within our means and try to be grateful for what we achieved so far.

What  do you really want? As per se,I want to create memory ,to create greatness but I am not afraid to unveil my vulnerability to the unknown.The power and the limits is within us so lets try to unleash our powers.

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Vulnerability-the gift of imperfection

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Howdy everyone!

I hope all of you have a great Sunday.Most of you who know me either,personally or virtually, know that  I am a bookworm,a type of person who reads a lot.Studies show that  reading can increase our emotional intelligence as we understand a range of perspectives and motivations.And as you immerse yourself in a book you can discover that everything you read fills your head with new bits of information, and you never know when it might come in handy. The more knowledge you have, the better-equipped you are to tackle any challenge you’ll ever face.

Additionally, here’s a bit of food for thought: should you ever find yourself in dire circumstances, remember that although you might lose everything else—your job, your possessions, your money, even your health—knowledge can never be taken from you.Anyway I am not here to explain the benefits of reading and why and why should not read but to talk a bit about a book I have read recently.The book is called” The gift of imperfection” by Dr.Brene Brown and to be honest the book marked somehow my existence.Although I am fairly a confident person I have areas in my life that shackles with insecurities therefore I present myself with an high level of vulnerability.

At some point in life I thought that showing vulnerability will make me weak and powerless but the truth is  vulnerability is one of the quality that makes us human.

Most of our male readers may want to make remarks that vulnerability is highly visible at women as we,the weakest link of our society,we are somehow the type of desperate,having a longing desire to fit in as we are small and scared.The truth is ,although women show high level of vulnerability they bounce forward with an unquenchable desire to step into their power.Women don’t mask their vulnerability ,they carry that with grace and beauty.

Myself as a woman have an innate power to show and learn from my vulnerability.My state of being means that I am open for wounding but also for pleasure,for search and desire.I am open to new lessons,new situation,new people and things that can either shake by existence and make me more vulnerable than ever.But I believe that putting ourself there in the open takes vulnerability.Having an acknowledge of your vulnerability is never easy but it is better to be open about what you are,what you do,emotions,feelings,experiences than to close ourselves off.And while such vulnerability creates all sorts of possibilities, both good and bad, its very existence is exciting.

Brene teaches us that being vulnerable is an asset to our ability to co-exist in today world.Vulnerability is about takings risks and removing masks that facade unhappiness,sorrow,sadness and feelings that we don’t want to speak about.Somehow we learnt to burry emotions and feelings and get numb and hard to feel.But numbness is an armour and you have to remove it to let feelings and emotions conquer your existence.

Vulnerability is my gift of imperfection.Its my reminder that I am allowed to feel and be cut open to the world.We can not banish imperfection but rather we can embrace it.We are wonderful beautiful people,some broken and some none broken and that is what connect us.Vulnerability is a reminder that we are all in this together.I would rather be me than to create a perfect image of what I should be.

I sum this post with a masterpiece called “Perfectly Imperfect”

We have all heard that no two snowflakes are alike. Each snowflake takes the perfect form for the maximum efficiency and effectiveness for its journey. And while the universal force of gravity gives them a shared destination, the expansive space in the air gives each snowflake the opportunity to take their own path. They are on the same journey, but each takes a different path.

Along this gravity-driven journey, some snowflakes collide and damage each other, some collide and join together, some are influenced by wind… there are so many transitions and changes that take place along the journey of the snowflake. But, no matter what the transition, the snowflake always finds itself perfectly shaped for its journey.

I find parallels in nature to be a beautiful reflection of grand orchestration. One of these parallels is of snowflakes and us. We, too, are all headed in the same direction. We are being driven by a universal force to the same destination. We are all individuals taking different journeys and along our journey, we sometimes bump into each other, we cross paths, we become altered… we take different physical forms. But at all times we too are 100% perfectly imperfect. At every given moment we are absolutely perfect for what is required for our journey. I’m not perfect for your journey and you’re not perfect for my journey, but I’m perfect for my journey and you’re perfect for your journey. We’re heading to the same place, we’re taking different routes, but we’re both exactly perfect the way we are.

Think of what understanding this great orchestration could mean for relationships. Imagine interacting with others knowing that they too each share this parallel with the snowflake. Like you, they are headed to the same place and no matter what they may appear like to you, they have taken the perfect form for their journey. How strong our relationships would be if we could see and respect that we are all perfectly imperfect for our journey.”

― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free