DISC-over yourself

Do you want  to know more about your profile?Take the DISC test.

Your core values influence the way you think,act,communicate with other people- and make decision.

Bev James

I am reading a book called “Do it or Ditch It” by Bev James and I thought that it’s a good practice to share some good examples which Bev described in her book.

DISC is a personality profiling technique that was developed by Dr.William Marsden.DISC is an amazing tool which can be used when needed to assist with decision making process, team building and negotiation.

DISC is an acronym based on four personality grouping:Dominant,Influencing,Steady and Compliant.

I quote:

Dominant people are outgoing and task orientated-styles like to take action and take charge.

D-styles will solve problems and respond to challenges aggressively.

D-styles are the dominant members of the team. Their greatest fears are being taken advantage of or failure.

Quite forcible characters, they will tell people what to do in a very direct fashion and under pressure may not be very sensitive to others’ feelings.

D-styles are motivated by result, power and authority.

Influencing people are outgoing and people orientated.

I-styles are influencers and like to interact and persuade others.

I-styles are creative and inspirational and often flamboyant.

I-Styles become active, verbal and persuasive when faced with problems. Their greatest fear is rejection and loss of popularity. They are motivated by praise and public recognition.

I-styles like to have plenty of option.

Steady people are reserved and people orientated.

S-styles are the steady and stable members of the team.

S-styles are supportive of others and they can often be very sensitive.

S-styles tend to prefer an ordered pace and to start and complete one project at the time.

S-styles can be resistant to change, especially if they can see a reason for it, their greatest fear is loss of security or change for changes’ sake.

S-styles may be the organizers on the team.

Compliant people are reserved and task orientated.

C-styles are cautious in approach and are often highly competent.

C-styles are the analyzers of the team.Their greatest fear are criticism and conflict.

C-styles base their decision on evidence and respect the official line.

C-styles like to manage by rules and regulations set by others.


The DISC philosophy: Wherever there is agreement there is power.

Well, folks, I have to mention to you that I took the test and I am definitely a Dominant style. I thought I was but not very certain. Knowing the test gives a predictability of 90% I decided to give a try. And as  Peter Drucker used to say that culture eats strategy for breakfast ,well guys we eat knowledge for breakfast for sure. There is so much to learn. Nevertheless the book is an ave to self-discovery tool, a tool which will help you to equilibrate and balance your work balance. So feel free to use the tool either for work or in personal life.

If you ever wonder what I use at work I can tell you that I like to blend all 4 styles all together to create the best dynamic team. And it work amazingly well. My team is the best and I am not blabbing at all.

I am the cherry on top

Today, no leader can afford to be indifferent to the challenge of engaging employees in the work of creating the future. Engagement may have been optional in the past, but it’s pretty much the whole game today.

Gary Hamel

There are lots of articles about talent management and how to retain talent within the  organisation.Today I started to read a book about coaching and management and in particular on how to succeed by surrounding ourselves with the best.The book is called “Its not the How or the What but the Who by Claudio Fernandez Araoz.

I found the book very interesting not because I like to read a lot  but in many parts because the book has a brilliant perspective into the forth era of people decisions especially when hiring is concerned.As managers and ultimately recruiters we need to have the astute attitude to make the most coloquial choices  in regards to acquire the best and not at last to retain the talent.Often lots of managers marshal their experience in front of the new recruits in order to get and groom the best talent.However the question lie beyond my imagination because the adagio of recruitment is kind pf comprehensive astute.We all know that employees are the company’s best asset and their are our competitive advantage.They are the ones who are part of company  mission but also the ones who steer the wheel and drive  the company forward.They are the jewel in the crown however I am thinking more about the decision of finding and retaining the raw talent in order to match the candidates with the organisational value.Araoz’s book fulfilled my need by all means.As a recruiter I don’t look for menace but rather for fast career progression.I look also for the proper thinking hat phenomenon when people are able to innovate and think outside the box.Araoz describes Jack Welsh’s strategy that there is a need to get religious about best practices in talent acqusition and the best top talent spotters would stay in the rotation while the worst sat on the bench.This strategy is simply called HBA and its defined by Hiring batting average phase.According to the Bloomberg magazine the HBA can really improve the chances of hiring right under high-pressure, high-speed circumstances.

I cited :

HERE’S HOW IT WORKS. Every candidate for a job at your company must be interviewed by at least three people in the organization beyond the hiring manager, and each interviewer must sign off with a “Hire” or “Don’t Hire” vote. No maybes allowed. Fast-forward six months. Every new hire gets evaluated by his manager on how he has performed against expectations: below, meets, or exceeds. Soon enough, and with enough critical mass, you can start to compare every interviewer’s “Hire” recommendations with actual performance.

Along with improving hiring effectiveness, the HBA also delivers two other powerful benefits. At the front end, it has a way of getting current employees to actually engage—brain and soul—in the interview process. The fact is, the last thing busy employees want to do is sit down for a half-hour with some random candidate. After a while, all the shiny faces begin to look and sound the same. But if employees know they will ultimately be held accountable for their verdicts—with a hard number, no less—interviews go from chit-chat to real conversation.

After the hiring, the HBA has a way of motivating interviewers to stay in closer contact with the people to whom they’ve given their “Hire” stamp, even prompting ad-hoc mentoring relationships. That’s a win-win, for the new hire and the company.

A caveat, though: Like every management process, HBA can be gamed. To pump up their average, some managers might try to lower their number of “yes” votes or not take risks on exciting or bold candidates who might be great—or awful. The best way around such abuse is to monitor it closely, just as you should with any measurement system.”

The article is right though.Although our guts tell us to fight the inertia and allow us to make hearty decision I think we should learn to be able to differentiate  the wheats from the chaff,well rhetorically speaking.I am looking forward for everyone comments ..

How do you hire and retain talent?Do you use the HBA tool?And how you encourage and develop success?

How effective is your team?

Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. The ability to direct individual accomplishments toward organizational objectives. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.” –Andrew Carnegie

Nowadays creating the best team requires lots of commitment,knowledge ,passion and patience.Will a group of extremely talented individuals, brought together from diverse backgrounds, gel into an effective team? The underlying premise is that its not enough to blend some individual to a team but to align them towards goals which underpin great values,potential,talent,high competence and hard working and not at last have the willingness to embrace change when it occurs.However bringing together new people to the old team could create office politics ,unchained the team dynamics and bring lots of issues towards the culture change.Hence how the team interacts is at least as vital. And as you know the quote :the more the merrier,well this doesn’t applies when come to people.

But don’t believe the popular myths that groups of all ages don’t work.Of course they do work very well especially when a good leader structure and lead them properly.Although having a structure in place helps a lot ,getting buy ins from the team is important because they are the ones who create and work towards team effectiveness.

According to the Zehner’s model they are identified six keys to team effectiveness:

Alignment. Shared beliefs and goals effectively focus the actions of all members.

Efficiency. The team optimizes resources to achieve results through calculated trade-offs and disciplined management processes.

Resilience. Mutual trust and respect support constructive resolution of issues and help the team perform well under pressure.

Energy. The team is energized by working together, is proactive and sustains momentum.

Openness. As it shapes and executes strategy, the team stays keenly attuned and responsive to the broader organization and outside world.

Balance. Within the team, diversity of relevant skills, styles and perspectives is valued and effectively leveraged.

My approach is to make sure that all team feel empowered.They all need to feel included and fully understand their roles in order for team to be effective.I also introduced a focus on knowing my team in order to let them to take accountability of their  roles and be able to design and innovate the service.One of the biggest focus is scrapping the old phenomena that change comes from the leaders or from the top however we utilise the status quo and we use to say that effectiveness comes from team work and it comes from within.As long we utilise open communication at all level and cascade the information appropriately the wheel of effectiveness makes wonder.

Welcome to the mentor/mentee network

Mentoring is a brain to pick, an ear to listen, and a push in the right direction.

— John C. Crosby

Today I have attended our first webinar for mentors/mentees via Aspire foundation.

There were around 102 women logged  in for the session.

I found the webinar inspiring and thought provoking and the best thing about the webinar is that I made new friends ,some amazing women which are role models and make a difference in their own ways.

The benefits are massive for the one who mentor and for the one receiving mentoring sessions.I believe that our legacy to the world is to  share from our knowledge and get a proper push to get where we should be.My creed is that with every single person we mentor and empower we are getting closer to make a difference to the world.If you wish to make a difference I advice you to join our foundation and share your story.Probably you think you are not good enough or your writing skills are not up to the standard but my advice is kind of simple.Go with the flow…Pretty much this is my story too and how I started.If you want to know more please read my article “my mentor,my inspiration”..I was never afraid to ask for help and to be honest I received plenty.Besides having a personal self development growth I made new friends who encouraged me to be myself and try to make a difference in my own way.Strong women listen,they wear their pride the way they wear their stilettos,pretty squittish,hurtful,painful but in the end you see the power and beauty and not the journey who brought them there.Mentoring helped me not only to be better at everything I do but also I am open to suggestion and learn new ways of improving myself.My journey as a mentor is amazing.

Anyway to cut the story short ,I am sharing some tips in case you decide to ask for help.Whatever your options are in term of become a mentor or a mentee the list is beneficial for both parts.So here you go:

1.Be specific what you want to achieve e.g. personal growth,knowledge ,skills,experience.

2.Use an activity diary or a to do list as it beneficial to put down ideas and thoughts .

3,Brainstorm -be creative

4.Ask for help -whether you are a mentee or a mentor ,you may feel alone at top so mingle with people,you will be amazed about what you can learn.

5.Plan what are you going to do by writing goals and how you wish to achieve them.

6.Make a short term goals rather then aiming very high as you can get easily lost in transition.

7.Start with activities which you are confident that you are able to achieve

8.write down long term goals and outline how you plan to achieve that

9.ask yourself how much you wish to make the change and work against the goal

10.reflect on daily basis on your task ,how did you spend the day and how close you are getting towards the goal ]

11.Be flexible and don’t be afraid to talk about your goals with others ,you may find that you are not alone

12.Record your achievements and reward yourself for moving towards your goals

Tick off the things that you achieve and place another small task on your to do list .

Although the list could be endless I believe this is a good starting point and if you need more help feel free to contact me for further guidance and advice.I am also looking forward for your input.Making a difference comes from within so the journey starts with you…

OOPS,the shit sandwich again

I don’t know if everyone is familiar with the terminology “shit sandwich” and what the pseudonym entails. As managers we are often put in a position to tackle bad performance. The shit sandwich, or the praise sandwich, as some ironically call it, is a technique for giving feedback that involves sandwiching critical, truthful feedback (the shit) in between two slices of praise. Recently I have read a book written by Ben Horowitz about building a business when there are not easy answers. Ben kindly described in his book that if you plan to eat shit,don’t nibble ,so in another words ….be careful with your actions and words as they are the most powerful weapons. The popular shit sandwich is often the most effective technique when you have to give feedback to your employees especially the ones who keep falling on the slope. The basic about the shit sandwich technique is that managers often open up the feedback with an openly manner astute when start complementing their employee (the slice of bread),then they give them the most difficult ,or awful message in a tantalising way( the shit) and wrap up by reminding how much they value employee strength. The trailblazer of the sandwich process has its pros and cons nevertheless it works well when it provides with good quality slices of bread by telling employee how good they are at their job, how much you value their input and so forth. Theoretically when the slices of bread are thick the sandwich has not the same effect on the employee like the one served on the thin layer of bread.

The shit sandwich has neither cutting structure nor a design layout. The key of giving feedback should lie on the counter that we must elevate ourselves beyond the basic of the shit sandwich. Usually if you love complementing people with the shit stuff they already pre empty the box of shit is coming …So recap for a minute..Are we all, shitty managers by default? If you are in the business for a while you already are developing a good strategic tool in giving employees feedback based on behaviour and performance. Being proactive as a manager give you the hand up that you don’t need to manipulate employees’ feelings at all. In UK ,we do tend to sugar coat problems when they occur and often the coating process enlarge the keyhole of introducing real problems into a new scenario. It is very important not to clown people in front of their peers and the message transmitted should be direct and not mean as often the message is lost in interpretation .Believe me or not but from my own experience I treat all my employees as unique individuals and feedback becomes not one to fit for all but your approach. I found often junior managers tend to be bossy and mean in their approach and they often think this is the best strategy to intimidate someone as they hold the power. Well my folks if you continue to give a shit sandwich (you are already in a shitty pothole) I just advice you that you are really obtuse in your thinking. The world has been tremendously changed since we used the basic and raw performance feedback term and we should be very open about giving feedback. Watering down feedback doesn’t help anyone and often this bring an ill attitude to the employee performance. Doing so will defeat your purpose because when done properly, feedback is a dialogue not a monologue.

Anyway ,guys better to be direct and have an open communication rather than being harsh and tighten up own conclusion. Shift sandwiches shift the purpose so be really careful how you handle people. To be a manager requires great qualities but being diplomatic requires style :).

I am that girl

“It’s probably not just by chance that I’m alone. It would be very hard for a man to live with me, unless he’s terribly strong. And if he’s stronger than I, I’m the one who can’t live with him. … I’m neither smart nor stupid, but I don’t think I’m a run-of-the-mill person. I’ve been in business without being a businesswoman, I’ve loved without being a woman made only for love. The two men I’ve loved, I think, will remember me, on earth or in heaven, because men always remember a woman who caused them concern and uneasiness. I’ve done my best, in regard to people and to life, without precepts, but with a taste for justice.”

― Coco Chanel

I am that girl for sure but like the quote many girls and women find themselves as damsels in distress.The quotes portrays attitude,rebellion and personality.Also portrays our view of life seen by  our own lenses.And to be honest to be a woman is kind of complicated.We are very complex individuals for sure.

Many women nowadays learnt the best way to survive in a man’s world is to cultivate yourself with high heels.strong personality and  a full luggage of attitude.Couple of days back when I scrolled on my Linkedin profile I came across a quote from Angelina Jolie and I want to mention it in here as it sounds pretty awesome.I quote:’There is no greater pillar of stability than a strong,free,educated woman and there is no more inspiring role model than a man who respects and cherishes women and champion their leadership.” How beautiful is that ? I could easily describe the lean in phenomena ,the equality gender and much more but I don’t want to advocate the feminism status quo in here but would rather focus on my post.This post is dedicated to all the girls and women who need the courage to change themselves.Once in my life I was there too.And I am not talking at the personal level ,I am also meant about professional level.I was stuck in a root and the only thing Ive seen at that time it was a dead end.


I am that girl who stand out of the crowd and I do what I want.With me I bring individual choices,attitude,respect ,confidence and knowledge.

What defines me ?People who knows me think that I am fuelled by coffee and ambition.Being a woman requires multitasking,self control,confidence and self respect.Being a professional woman requires skills and knowledge.It requires to be tough ,to be able to wear the pants with dignity.To forget that high heels,beauty,family,children and many other things are your collaterals ,to think that every single moment matter ,that you are there and are able to tell the world that you count and you know what are you doing.

I am that girl veiled in a woman’s overall.I still eat the damn chocolate after 10 pm,I dance,I sing,I make silly jokes,I act crazy most of the time.I drive with my window down,I talk to the strangers,I engage in conversation with the elderly,I help children at the bus stop ,I smile at everyone.I try new things as change is good for me.I laugh at every chance I get as life is short.I watch more movies than my grown up daughters.I sleep more than I should.I work hard and play hard.In another way I live my life to the fullest.I am not complete but I seize the moments. I am that girl who brings confidence with her,Who made you think twice that anything is worth trying.I advise you to take changes.Brake any chain that locked  you up.Free yourself from fear and lack of confidence.Learn to stand up on your own feet.Learn that anything that powers you has its own weaknesses .

I am that girl who tells you that anything you fear is teaching you courage to overcome your fear.Anything you can’t control teaches you to let you go.Embrace change.Grow from within.Being a girl and ultimate a woman is the most beautiful thing.Learn to break the barriers and be yourself.

As for me,I am a woman with the attitude,a woman who knows what she wants and oh boys ,watch the level crossing as I am just passing by…

As for the ones who think that I am overly confident I confess that I still have my moments …but who cares anymore..Tomorrow is another day.

I am a CEO,get me out of here

A lot of people talk about how great is to be  CEO but only few knows that life at the top is not as easy as it seems.

If you ever wonder how does one become a CEO? What studies,knowledge and skills are required to attain such prestigious role?As a start there is not prototype for the perfect CEO.Many CEOs are great leaders.They have the right kind of ambitious that will make you to follow your dream until you achieve it ,they have the ability to achieve their own vision and also to put in practice the vision and make that happen.Most CEOs I know they are open minded and they have a clear,interesting and dynamic vision.Rather than compelling their vision as a long term goals they create the  appropriate business strategy plan which sustain their plans for the future.They also hire the right candidates for the executive roles to ensure that these people have the eagerness to drive the vision forward and deliver performance at all levels.Great CEO and I could mentioned my CEO are truly great leaders.My CEO takes the time to talk to you,to listen to your concerns,ambitions and goals.When you have a great CEO you can achieve wonder ,you believe that you are part of something bigger and you become part of the bigger picture.You become the ambassador of your service and become a quality control for the entire organisation.

CEO’s role is an unnatural role.Some CEO are born leaders but some are made.Well as Marisa Meyer states:”

“I always did something that I was a little not ready to do. I think that, that is how you grow. When there’s a moment of ‘Wow, I’m not so sure that I can do this, and you push through those moments, it’s then that you have a breakthrough. Sometimes that’s a sign that something really great is about to happen. You’re about to grow and learn a lot more about yourself.”

Becoming a CEO typically takes years of hard work however how many professionals are prepare to make themselves a CEO?Learning to make this unnatural motion takes a great deal of practice.However life at the top as its knocked off effect.From an evolutionary standpoint most CEOs have to deal with lots of setbacks as  people at all level  tend to become resistant to change.In well run organisation people can focus on performance and their own work as opposed to office politics and bureaucratic  procedures.A strong leader prioritise organisational structure to create a clear vision.She /He allocates strong seniors executives to terminate the broken processes and diminishes the time in regards to fighting organisational boundaries.While it may be quite easy to understand it ,building a well run organisation requires a high level of skills.Performance management becomes the best ally of organisational design and operational structures often marries open communication.The forming cocktail often creates long term success as the potion has strong leadership flavouring  thus a great CEO put great effort into designing a system that enable its people to be maximum effective.Although life at the top requires lots of open communication it also involves an incentive structure and a clear team that become the architect of the best company design.As a CEO in order to run a world class company you need to raise a world class team.So ,guys if you want to wear the CEO’s overall be prepared for some internal and external changes.Life at the top requires sacrifices.

And the final thought

When facing with the decision of weather to make a move in your career ladder and questions your abilities that you don’t have the experience to take the role I am telling  you that there is not an easy answer.However preparing yourself emotionally and intellectually will help you to get there…Although life at the top may seem lonely there are lots of rewards…so my advice ..have that leap of faith and move forward ….being a CEO is not as stressful as it looks..

with all the admiration for all the great and amazing CEOs out there ,e pluribus unum

Ave ,

The untold story behind closed doors

We’re not the madwomen in the attic – they get lots of play, one way or another. We’re the quiet woman at the end of the third-floor hallway, whose trash is always tidy, who smiles brightly in the stairwell with a cheerful greeting, and who, from behind closed doors, never makes a sound. In our lives of quiet desperation … not a soul registers that we are furious.”

Author: Claire Messud The Woman Upstairs

And behind the closed doors lie the truth.A culture of pragmatistic and antagonistic world where  our lives could either be transformed into a small world or become the arrays of clouds and dreams which often is fulfilled by the euphemeric dreams of nothing.A ambiguous and dreadful nothing killed by the untold truth.Behind the closed doors lies our neverland or the dreamland .A story which is untold by our suicidal voice ,a voice which is often corrupted into the transformed world of the new beginnings.Nevertheless hidden away behind closed doors of vulnerability,concealed  under the ultra-respectable masks of silence and the drapped veil which cover the naked soul.A suicide ,the tacit killer of “had enough” of this bullshit and so forth.Dreams ,ambitions and goals becomes a depressive static state where the world is shattered by whisper,mutter and cough.The words ,sentences could not squeeze enough and they are the acid killer ,they stopped talking even when when the words tried to reveal the cruel sentences.

Women,hey! An anthem of craziness,undecisson,uncertainty all described by the above.An alcove of burning candle until nothing left behind.Behind closed door lies anger,depression and scream.An unsettling desire to go back and forth to where the story began.Although screamingly the world is shattered ,behind closed door is comfort.And as Alice Munro quotes:”You go inside and stay there for a while, wandering back and forth and settling where you like and discovering how the room and corridors relate to each other, how the world outside is altered by being viewed from these windows. And you, the visitor, the reader, are altered as well by being in this enclosed space, whether it is ample and easy or full of crooked turns, or sparsely or opulently furnished. You can go back again and again, and the house, the story, always contains more than you saw the last time. It also has a sturdy sense of itself of being built out of its own necessity, not just to shelter or beguile you.”

― Alice MunroSelected Stories, 1968-1994

Behind closed door we develop stories,we make love to our bodies and we feed the broken soul.Behind closed door we create a better world for our future generation.We have to admit to ourselves that there is something more than a closed door and we tend to understand ourselves better when we are  in desperate needs .In our desperation we create…We push everything to the top,go down the pipes,adjust our valves.We timber and we repair aesthetically everything what is partially broken and nothing is left at the comfort zone.We think,therefore we act.We think,therefore we do.We emerge from the functionality of routines and go to the unexpected.We explore the red zone until the x files are just paper notes left on our desk untouched by our genius.We become rich in the furious element and we scream out loud of the comfort zone.We stop of creating cluster and we eliberate by the cage who lies behind closed door.We are a generation of doers and I am proud that I don’t suffer from the syndrome of closed door.My world is as open as clouds on the sky.I merge into a new journey and could not wait to step outside..Outside the door life is brighter…A new whole of understanding it opens its sophisticated way..

Do I think and act like a robot

I don’t know how many people are familiar with Leary’s grid and the personality epitome based on dyadic relationship.Understanding our behaviours and whats going on in our mind is not an easy task.Leary has conducted so many personality tests however I found one of his test highly elaborated which was described by Peter Shepherd(Transforming the mind). So far, we have seen and experienced by all means that humans behave totally chaotic,irrational or on the other side they need a proper structure in order to function properly.

It has been recognised for a very long time that if someone is messed up, then they might show some sort of functional deficit and that someone else who is very structured and functional has a minimal or not brain dificit at all.So fair enough.We as humans act and think differently and our behaviours doesnt shift from the norm.However Shepherd argues that we think and act like robots and our system is implanted with very synchronised types of humanoid robots.He states:”Consider four specific cases: Subject #1 is Responsible/Over-conventional (Phlegmatic). S/he is friendly, considerate, helpful solidly successful and wants things to run smoothly for the good of all, whatever the compromises. S/he spoils people with kindness, forgives anything, agrees with everybody and actually enjoys governing those who cannot govern themselves. The noble Lion. This person is probably a total robot, i.e. if s/he can never give orders in a strict way, is never ever to doubt others, is never ego-centered, etc. On the other hand if s/he can move out of this viewpoint in appropriate circumstances (exercising hostility against an attacker or admitting weakness when overwhelmed) then s/he has a conditioned predilection for ‘friendly strength’ but is not totally robotized by it.

Subject #2 has, after the same twenty years of imprinting and conditioning, landed in the Melancholy quadrant (friendly weakness). S/he is self-critical, shy, timid, easily led, spineless and always looking for someone to take charge, to make the decisions. The unearthly angel or in modern parlance, the flower child.

Subject #3 is predominantly in the Bilious (hostile weakness) quadrant. S/he distrusts everybody, rebels against everything, speaks constantly in sarcasms, complains chronically and is generally bitter, resentful and (to some extent) paranoid, while skillfully avoiding any action that would require taking personal responsibility. The sullen Bull.

Subject #4 is Choleric (hostile strength) and is regarded as bossy, cold, unfeeling, dictatorial, self-important, boastful, etc., but still in the judgment of most, ‘a good leader’. S/he will always try to take over, to be top dog. The imperial Eagle. Each will explain to you, with great conviction, why each of these robotic, endlessly repeated reflexes are caused by the situations around them, i.e. by the behaviour of other people.

To be honest I found this one very thoughtful reading.Interestingly enough, I could categorise myself in one of these grids however our behaviours could easily be transformed or adapted by reinforcements and consequences.And in most cases what we reinforce in our daily life is what we get by what we doing.Remember Ghandi’s quote:be the change you want to see in the world?To be frank most of our problems are happening because we are often disconnected by our reality and don’t try to use common sense and run a reality check by the end of the day.We often tend to preach a lesson we don’t follow.Suffice it to say that many behaviour settles for creating and accepting who we are as individuals.It also enhance our ability to embed what we do best,confidence,self fulfilment,sense of worthiness and not at last to involve emotion and passion in our arrays of collaboration.Although we display a robotic nature we err by nature and to err is human.

Where do I fit in

This was the second stage in my life, a step in my personal evolution–abandoning the idea of being different, and settling for normal… Gradually I drew nearer to the world, and the world drew nearer to me.” ― Haruki MurakamiSouth of the Border, West of the Sun

During our life span we are going through a lot of “how do I fit in here”questions.Whether moving house,starting a new job,settling with a new partner could be the most stressful life event.Although excitement and eagerness for change are there, the process can be daunting to start with.You will question at the bay how responsible are you in regards to the new role and whether you will get it right or not.

I don’t know about you but I always welcome changes as they bring a degree of certainty.I never settled myself for an okay life but would rather set up higher expectations to get the life I want.Although I count successes and failure at all time whilst bound by limitation, I acknowledge that the road to success is never straight forward.The “where do I fit in?”corrodes the institutionalised belief of regret and push the status “ I am okay” into the motion.

I often picture the “where I want to be” as a result of the visualising “I do fit in” exercise.Many other factors remain on hold as I move forward.I am often called distant as I try to differentiate what becomes a priority and what is not and the most important are tackled as I move on.My”where I fit in “ remains eloquent throughout the process.I am more aware of limitation but also I seek opportunities as I move along.I blend the old habits with the new ones to confirm that I am not an alien to the changes.Nevertheless I am overwhelmed by the magnitude of challenges I face when I utilise the traditional approach that I am the right fit wherever I go.The thoughts,emotions and strengths play a pivotal role as I need to remain aware and self-  conscious.If I  want to have more prolonged periods of awake consciousness and not merely glimpses, I understand that I need to be in charge ,to be pilot of my own machine and this requires control and hard work.There are no habits of the right fit and I dont really have a set of standards of who set the limits of what is right of wrong.Frankly speaking what is right for me ,may not be that right for you and vice versa.I wanted to show you that there is no history of Where do I fit in but merely the dogmatic status lies in ourselves.We know where we fit in when we are becoming comfortable in our skins,with our structure and reinforce new habits.

The answer lies within you and although roughly explained in the context, our own personality is full of content, learned responses, and is dynamic. The adaptation stage may in many people never be recognized in any explicit way, and the nature of this barrier and how to remove it, to become ‘enlightened or to ‘awaken’, could be hardly juxtaposed or over analysed by specialists.With times,the settlement, the real ‘I am the right fit in’, the essence, can grow and begin to utilise all available  resources.The magnitude of change possible (and necessary) for full awakening  is indeed like death and rebirth and in that time you will know for certain the right answer.Although there are lots of internal and external factors who contribute to the process the self control and confidence land in safe hands.The enlighting bulb moment opens its magnitude and the fleeting instant is the only reality. The now moment surpasses the odds and the now moment awakens.The past is gone forever. The future is not yet born but you are where you should be.Grasp the concept the now has great validity when dealing with emotions and feelings.If you know yourself well and listen to your guts you will know that this is the moment  at which you are in touch with the ongoing process. Past and future take their bearings continuously from the present and must be related to it. Without reference to the present they become meaningless.

As a famous psychologist said once and I quote:”The mind is full of loose words, isolated phrases, comments and complaints. An inner chatterbox is perpetually lecturing, justifying, haranguing. There are unending rehearsals, recriminations, fantasy arguments, even puns and quips. Because of the general left-brain dominance, this malady is prevalent – many people tend to intellectualize or ‘rationalize’ their feelings, and to that extent are split off from themselves or ‘schizophrenic’. Such a person avoids contact with emotions and nonverbal reality. He is isolated from the rest of his personality and is contemptuous of his body. The words flooding from his mind thus washout direct contact with the moment.”

So my dear peeps,stop worrying about the status” where do I fit in” and try to enjoy the ride.However if you chose an alternative I have to remind you that you are deemed to a slow,painful and non successful and un-bearring process.The choice, my dear ,is in your own hands…