An empty jar-a new beginning

An empty jar – a new beginning ,collections of moments,hopes and dreams


“For last year’s words belong to last year’s language

And next year’s words await another voice.

And to make an end is to make a beginning.”

(Little Gidding)” ― T.S. Eliot

Only few yours left until we will welcome the new year.I wanted to start afresh with an empty jar ,where I will place all my dreams and hopes,ambitions ,things I want to do,places I want to see and people I want to meet.My empty jar will be my reminder that I need to place also all the good things that will happen along the way.Although I have my faults and mistakes  and oh boys they are like counting stars I would like to believe that I am not bound to my past as I am not anymore the person I used to be.My bad choices defined me on where I were yesterday,the day before yesterday and merely that  not define the person I am today and definitely ,it wont define the person I will become.My feelings will evolve over the time and although some of them will diminish will time some will grow in intensity.I am ready for the new year and what yet has to come,with the new hour who is lying ready for me,perfect,unspoiled,canny.I am so ready for that unspoiled and unseen moment when I can turn over a new leaf and where I can write a new chapter.

The new year is a time where I can start over where I will be able to voice my own opinion,to live my untamed life and for that matter I don’t need to justify my feelings and actions although I would love to think that I will still be able to make some difference into people life,do good,learn good and share good.

My new jar,metaphorically will be my walk forward with a positive outlook toward a better life,a better version of me.I can start over without thinking of where my choice lies ,in determining how I will meet the inevitable end of things, and how I  will greet each new beginning.Every single created moment  should be a new beginning where I will try again for something that is beyond attainment.

One of my best quote and one of my goal is to reach high and Louisa May Alcott described beautifully:

“Far away in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.”

New year will be a roller coaster ride of new beginnings,new hopes,new aspirations,new feelings,new emotions.It will be my journey throughout rainstorms and sunshine,sprinkled with happy or sad moments but I am all  ready for it.

My empty jar awaits like an half empty clepsydra for counted and recounted moments…As the present and the future intertwined and compromise my desire for unknown,I have hope that never died and it has been the sun of my existence.Hope is part of my life and I hope on and I hope ever.

So I place hope in my empty jar and I believe that Hope will be my beaming star for year to come.

Having an empty jar isn’t enough in itself, but it has often been foundational to real changes,real new year resolution.Making something visible and ready to be used is usually the first step in getting and achieving your goal.The first thing to do is to start living and that suppose to be your new year resolution.We live in a society enriched with power and possibilities ,we have revolutionary ideas about of what we dream about and have impressively tools and resources to put them into practice.

Paul Goodman famously wrote, “Suppose you had the revolution you are talking and dreaming about. Suppose your side had won, and you had the kind of society that you wanted. How would you live, you personally, in that society? Start living that way now!”

I want also to include Pablo Neruda too:Let’s try and avoid death in small doses,reminding oneself that being alive requires an effort far greater than the simple fact of breathing.



I wish you enough

It’s been a great year for me and as it comes to an end I am reflecting on the goods and the bad.Although some things didn’t go as expected I have so many blessings I have to count on.We often think that we don’t get enough of what we need but if you step back and look on what you have I think we have more than enough….

Most people tend to complain that they never have enough but what is your definition of enough??

Is there a metaphor of the word “greediness “or just a need to be in trend with the society?

I would like to share with you Bob’s stories which was originally included in “Chicken Soup for the Grieving Soul”and now featured in a collection of Bob’s storiesbased on the eight wishes.
“I Wish You Enough: Embracing Life’s Most Valuable Moments…One Wish at a Time” (Hardcover)
Thomas Nelson Publishers
By Bob Perks

I never really thought that I’d spend as much time in airports as I do. I don’t know why. I always wanted to be famous and that would mean lots of travel. But I’m not famous, yet I do see more than my share of airports.
I love them and I hate them. I love them because of the people I get to watch. But they are also the same reason why I hate airports. It all comes down to “hello” and “goodbye.” I must have mentioned this a few times while writing my stories for you.
I have great difficulties with saying goodbye. Even as I write this I am experiencing that pounding sensation in my heart. If I am watching such a scene in a movie I am affected so much that I need to sit up and take a few deep breaths. So when faced with a challenge in my life I have been known to go to our local airport and watch people say goodbye. I figure nothing that is happening to me at the time could be as bad as having to say goodbye.
Watching people cling to each other, crying, and holding each other in that last embrace makes me appreciate what I have even more. Seeing them finally pull apart, extending their arms until the tips of their fingers are the last to let go, is an image that stays forefront in my mind throughout the day.
On one of my recent business trips, when I arrived at the counter to check in, the woman said, “How are you today?” I replied, “I am missing my wife already and I haven’t even said goodbye.”
She then looked at my ticket and began to ask, “How long will you…Oh, my God. You will only be gone three days!” We all laughed. My problem was I still had to say goodbye.
But I learn from goodbye moments, too.
Recently I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together. They had announced her departure and standing near the security gate, they hugged and he said, “I love you. I wish you enough.” She in turn said, “Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy.”
They kissed and she left. He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, “Did you ever say goodbye to someone knowing it would be forever?”
“Yes, I have,” I replied. Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me.
So I knew what this man experiencing.
“Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever goodbye?” I asked.
“I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, the next trip back would be for my funeral,” he said.
“When you were saying goodbye I heard you say, “I wish you enough.” May I ask what that means?”
He began to smile. “That’s a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.” He paused for a moment and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more.”When we said ‘I wish you enough,’ we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them,” he continued and then turning toward me he shared the following as if he
were reciting it from memory.


He then began to sob and walked away.
My friends, I wish you enough!
Bob Perks

as for me,I wish to all my readers that you have enough of whatever you need and more importantly I wish you enough…to close this year chapter and open a new one with new dreams,new aspirations,new goals and at last I wish you to pray for all the blessings you have…the world is a wild animal and could devour you open so think twice of what you wish for…


The butterfly effect

As Jim Rohn once said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Do yourself a favour; search for jobs with purpose and choose your boss before your title or company.

Have you ever heard about the butterfly effect and what is the impact when the butterfly collides from within?

There are two theories I could adhere too but lets get simplistic and just mention them rather than be overreactive and make preamble assumption.:

1.“A phenomenon in which a small perturbation in the initial condition of a system results in large changes in later conditions. Such phenomena are common in complex dynamical systems and are studied in chaos theory.

[From the idea that the tiny atmospheric changes caused by the flap of a butterfly’s wings can ultimately have major effects on the course of the weather.]

American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fifth Edition. Copyright © 2016 by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. Published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. All rights reserved.

2.(General Physics) the idea, used in chaos theory, that a very small difference in the initial state of a physical system can make a significant difference to the state at some later time

[C20: from the theory that a butterfly flapping its wings in one part of the world might ultimately cause a hurricane in another part of the world]

Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged, 12th Edition 2014 © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003, 2006, 2007, 2009, 2011, 2014

It is often said that we often pick bosses over companies when it comes to jobs.There are lots of articles that advise us to pick the right boss over the company and reconsider what type of job we might want to take if successful upon interview.Some theories said that the right boss could boost your career opportunities in a way you never imagined.Also in the hand of a good boss you could have unlimited potential for growth and development and the ripple effect is imaginable with mounts of benefits.

Recently I have read a book from Kevin Eikenberry, From Bud to Boss: Secrets to a Successful Transition to Remarkable Leadership and he said and I quote: “Focusing on others will give you more influence and power than focusing on yourself.”

I have to admit that having the right network will give you more influence and power,it will make you marketable regardless of your job title.Couple of years back, I wrote a post about weak ties and I enclose the link below just in case you want to read it:

By cultivating rich social networks, by cultivating weak ties, not just close ties but the weak ties, by becoming connectors and by connecting others so that they connect us, we create a world in which these self-amplifying feedback loops feed on top of each other.Jason Silva

I believe in communicating through the weak ties we need explicit language which is well understood by everyone.Therefore the more weak ties we have,the more connected to the world we are and we are more likely to get information about new jobs which are going on in the market,new trends which are good for your career development and progression,new ideas which could help you with your entrepreneurial skills or even with your leadership status quo.Although the ripple effect cab have a positive effect into your career ,it could also turn sideways and engrave a negative image of what you are or what you do.Picking the wrong boss could endeavour your fitness for purpose and within a big organisation the ripple effect could have a lethal impact into your career.As matter of fact ,you can cause the success or failure for a company just by performing everyday tasks. If in your job duties you make a mistake this may cause issues with the rest of your department if not caught in the interim. If still not caught, other departments are going to be affected by the mistake in an indirect way, thus leading to the customer. At this point you have indirectly affected the customer, one of which you may never see or speak. If that customer receives a product that is not to his standards, he may not want to come back to the company for any additional service and that leads to how well or long the company will survive.

I do advise you to be careful about your boss,your manager or supervisor or any senior might be.Within wrong hands you could create waves of negativities that could leverage your performance or even worse.If you don’t set things into motion right the butterfly effect could trickle to a raging river nearly instantaneously. Although some ripple takes on a life of its own, there are ways to begin the trend slowly over time.


Just think twice about what effect we have on others and vice versa.Think about our friends,people we connect with,our spouses and our bosses.As a metaphor, the butterfly effect has come to signify a series of seemingly trivial and unrelated events that collectively have a massive impact later, whether in causing storms or influencing your life.There is so much to talk about and I don’t want to juxtapose into a blaggery post by writing hundreds and hundreds of words just to give you something to think about but rather I will sum up with a beautiful quote:

‘’Everyone is like a butterfly, they start out ugly and awkward and then morph into beautiful graceful butterflies that everyone loves. Drew Barrymore’’

Dare to morph into something beautiful,bursting forth into unexpected glory.

je suis ce que je suis ….


Amidst the confusion of the times, the conflicts of conscience, and the turmoil of daily living, an abiding faith becomes an anchor to our lives. Thomas S. Monson

I believe that we need motivation to keep us going regardless of destination.I ,among others follow the herd of people who embrace the daily living obligations.I often solitude with the ones who had the  courage to take the risks and became better for themselves.

I am that girl that needs hope and dreams to function normal.Although daily living is  a matter of turmoil and struggles, I feel blessed to have the knowledge and choices to make wise decisions about how I want to live my life.

I am a girl with an independent attitude towards life and I believe that tomorrow brings another hope,another dreams,another opportunity and on top on that it brings courage to transform ourselves into a better person.And yet,tomorrow is another day.

I mirror life with a positive outlook.I embrace a gratitude towards the nature and people because  I find solitude in internal happiness.

I am that girl who seems to conquer the world with slower and slower steps but willing to look to improve my weaknesses as I move along.My hopes turns into big dreams and as I stare at the clouds and dream with my eye open I think of all the people out there who still struggle and have no opportunities to get choices of what to do and when .The who’s ,how and what are forbidden questions.For them, future seems grey.The silver lining of the clouds slowly die under burden of hidden bricks.The Hemingway ethos of the “ man and the sea” remains a cloudy bitter lemonade.There is no connections between the man and the nature and as considering the latest worldly and catastrophic events there is no hope for closed places.The boundaries and borders make people enraged and disconnected and weaknesses become the powerful weapons.

I am still fortunate to express myself in a language often understood only by myself.My mind wonders freely and by brain is wired oddly but beautifully.I have a messy and beautiful brain that only stop when its time to rest.At night it dreams of Nile,pyramids ,Indiana Jones and much more.During the day ,I think therefore I exist.Like Descartes I analyse my surroundings and I test my powers.Limitless in thoughts I am wondersome.I am Alice in wonderland and for minutes I get scared of unknown and that is something normal to experience.

I am that girls that acknowledge that I have weaknesses like everybody else but amidst conscience I don’t let my weaknesses to destroy my future.I am fully aware that our weaknesses are our greatest enemies but sometimes its better to sleep with the enemy rather to kill the poor soul.

I am that girl that I put myself in other people’s shoes and I try to see life from their angle.I try to understand how they feel at that moment in time and try to understand their coping strategies.

I often ask myself if we need education to become better person or we need to become humble in order to overcome burden.

Life is full of choices and ‘’Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain… To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices – today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it. Kevyn Aucoin

Today I choose to become a better person.Today I learn that I need people around me to feel content.Today I choose to be humble and share my happiness and knowledge with others.

Although minimalistic in options and choices I chose to share some thoughts from time to time however I am grateful to learn from all of you what life is all about.

I choose to learn.To explore and discover what life has in store.I choose to be strong and more resilient.I learn to adapt to change and be open to suggestions.

Nevertheless I continuosly embrace a new me and if I am not happy ,I don’t need to stay in that trance.I need more time to evolve to the new me but I am more powerful than ever.

I am a beautiful mess but I love it.

Do you know how to measure your KPIs?

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.”
– Albert Einstein


How do you know when your care home is performing well?I believe that a lot of care home operators have some kind of efficiency system in place that can inform them if the home falling under the bridge or remain financially efficient.

However from the operation perspective a care home operation requires more than just a strong finacial acumen.Fist of all we should not forget that our primary concern is to be and remain CQC compliant.

In 2010,CQC published a report about how to be CQC compliant and the main headings of the report fall under these standards:

 Involvement and information

Outcome 1: Respecting and involving people who use services

Outcome 2: Consent to care and treatment

Outcome 3: Fees

Personalised care, treatment and support

Outcome 4: Care and welfare of people who use services

Outcome 5: Meeting nutritional needs

Outcome 6: Cooperating with other providers

Safeguarding and safety

Outcome 7: Safeguarding people who use services from abuse

Outcome 8: Cleanliness and infection control

Outcome 9: Management of medicines

Outcome 10: Safety and suitability of premises

Outcome 11: Safety, availability and suitability of equipment

Suitability of staffing

Outcome 12: Requirements relating to workers

Outcome 13: Staffi ng

Outcome 14: Supporting workers

Quality and management

Outcome 15: Statement of purpose

Outcome 16: Assessing and monitoring the quality of service provision

Outcome 17: Complaints

Outcome 18: Notifi cation of death of a person who uses services

Outcome 19: Notifi cation of death or unauthorised absence of a person who is detained or liable to be detained under the Mental Health Act 1983

Outcome 20: Notifi cation of other incidents 37

Outcome 21: Records 40

Suitability of management

Outcome 22: Requirements where the service provider is an individual or partnership

Outcome 23: Requirement where the service provider is a body other than a partnership

Outcome 24: Requirements relating to registered managers

Outcome 25: Registered person: training

Outcome 26: Financial position

Outcome 27: Notifi cations – notice of absence

Outcome 28: Notifi cations – notice of changes

Although the list summarises the outcomes and standards the managers and operators must use KPI framework to judge and improve compliance.

Clearly the media portrays the bad practices but our jobs as managers is to highlight the good practices and share with others and one of the topic I thought as helpful is the KPI in care home sector.

I don’t juxtapose the importance of compliance but I want to stress about how we perform considering the wave of brexit phenomena and cuts related to the care sector.Nevertheless there are some incentive utilised by home operators but the KPI clearly can be used to tell commissioners,stakeholders and not at least to our people who utilise our services on how we perform.

Knowing your key performance indicators may not show the full picture; you need to be able to compare your KPI’s against KPI’s for previous years, your budget and just as importantly against the sector standard however as CQC now utilise the star rating it may be useful to list down the KPI as per 5 outcomes eg safe;effective,responsive,caring and well led.

So what should we be measuring and how do we measure it?

A good place to start is about the assurance about compliance with essential standards that registration will provide which we describe as assessments of quality.

These assessments include:  periodic reviews of the performance of the service, trends within current economy and commissioners strategy in regards health care, efficiency and effectiveness; and operational needs and demands.

In term of financial reviews a better comparison would be to look at earnings before interest, tax, depreciation and amortisation. This eliminates many of the variables between operating models.

Other operating ratios are staff costs as percentage of turnover. This will depend on the type of care home you are operating and the number of staff, and the pay level of the staff. That is to say that a nursing home may have a higher staff costs than a personal care home, but the nursing home will have a higher income per room than the personal care home to offset the higher staff costs. This can either be reported as a percentage of turnover, or be broken down to a cost per resident day.

Another KPI is the individual cost of items of expenditure or groups of items of expenditure; this can show how efficient you are at purchasing and controlling waste. Examples would be the cost of food per resident per day, or the cost of cleaning per resident per day. To calculate this information you need to record detail occupancy, which should be available, and the actual cost of items used. The actual cost of items used may not be the same as the expenditure in the month, if stock levels have changed, or items have been used but not yet paid for.

Target efficiencies in these areas highlighted efficiencies within existing fixed contractual arrangements. However, the performance against these targets can be used in the future consideration of contract requirements and direction of resources into existing contracts to enable the savings to be realised.

In addition to the potential financial efficiencies, it is anticipated that the developments will have a qualitative impact which will also be evaluated, in terms of the quality of service, the quality of life of residents, and the improvement in partnership working across health, social care and provider services. Furthermore to remain compliant the managers hence the care operators need to identify resources to sustain required elements monitoring of services and delivery of objectives. This is anticipated to include information relating to service activity and progress, qualitative information on outcomes and quantitative data. The evaluation of the data could be listed as such but the list is could be populated as required by the care home and person who uses the service needs.To maintain a good service delivery requires lots of quality improvements tools and quality metrics but I do advise to revisit the CQC standard and revamp the outcomes based on the 5 ratings and look at these standards as potential risks if become non compliant.

So where to start?

I would recommend the key performance indicators to be broken down into these bullet points however feel free to populate the list as per standards. Eg


How safe is your service?


  • Numbers of safeguarding
  • Numbers of incidents
  • Training for personnel
  • Safety of environment
  • Health and safety measures
  • Internal policies and procedures
  • Staffing level
  • Care management in regards to clinical operation eg nutritional needs,medication errors
  • Staffing ratio
  • Turnover rate
  • Culture of the organisation
  • Recruitment and retention

How effective is your service ?

Evidences :

  • Timescale of incidents and complaints
  • Recruitment
  • Communication across person served ,staff and stakeholders
  • Notifications
  • Person centre planning
  • Positive risk management
  • Staff overtime
  • Financial eg employees cost,equipment maintenance
  • Health and safety cost
  • Insurance

How responsive is your service?

Evidences :

  • Complaints and compliments
  • Person centred care planning
  • Risk assessment
  • Recreational activities
  • Social inclusion
  • Communication
  • Death within service
  • Staff vs service users ratio

Is your service caring?


  • Person centred care planning
  • Family involvement
  • Positive risk assessments
  • Reviews
  • Medication management eg medication errors
  • Rate of incidents
  • Safeguarding
  • Fall management
  • Diabetes management
  • Continence care
  • Nutrition
  • Education of person served

Is your service well led?

Evidences :

  • Leadership of manager
  • Training and support for manager
  • Audits
  • Quality assurance
  • Quality improvement
  • Person served satisfaction
  • Staff satisfaction
  • Retention and reward management
  • Culture performance
  • Equality and diversity compliance
  • Governance assessment
  • Financial planning
  • Contract monitoring

The managers and care operators should look at these key performance indicators as classified risks.

Finally, a risk which should be considered in advance, is that anticipated target efficiencies are not met. In order to manage this risk, regular assessment and evaluation of the impact of the initiatives will be undertaken and fed back

“After all is said and done, more needs to have been done than said.”
– Neil Mason

The whole point of measurement and analysis is that it leads to different outcomes. KPIs is about making better decisions and reducing risk in care home. There’s no point having good data and sophisticated analysis if the results are not acted upon, either because of the organization’s culture or organisational processes. Successful use of KPIs requires organizational agility to bring change and measure results.

Learning from the best

A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people. Will Rogers

This experience  hit home in many ways as I am in process of learning new skills,reviewing  my learning style and my competency approach.But I am also taking my career to the next level and I need to be able to recap  my personal development.As we all know,learning is a journey and it replicates throughout of few stages of self development however there are external factors that have an impact into our learning process.

One of factor related to learning includes learning from peer colleagues,mentors,coaches and experienced professionals in their fields.Although I consider myself a very strong opponent in my area of expertise ,recently I had the experience to share knowledge with some major players in the health care field.The experience was totally new and overwhelming.I felt connected and fully engaged into the process.I also done some reflective practice about my learning curve and how beneficial the experience meant to me.

As I had the opportunity to participate in a joint evaluation of some of the heath care standards I felt invested and loved every single seconds spent there.Along the journey I met amazing individuals,made new friends and learnt tons from my colleagues.The shared experience put me into the position to carve my hunger of knowledge to the deepest layer of curiosity and that made me to realise that I want more.I was just proof testing never mind fully challenged!!

I am a middle aged  adult and I am aware that I could experience setback,stagnation or I could accumulate the need to surrogate the self -absorptions of learning which is readily available.I just need to grab it and start to get into the gear.Career and work are very important to me  as I took greater responsibilities and control in my role.I am also aware that if I wish to take my career to the next level I could experience major life shifts but I am fully certain that the journey is a life time investment but I will let the experience speak for itself. I took the time to think what work best for me and at this point in my life I want to know what is out there,how much I could assimilate and how I will put this knowledge into practice and I wonder what life could bring next.As for now I could not thank enough to the the amazing people who made this experience a reality.

”Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though sometimes it is hard to realise this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and grieves which we endure help us in our marching onward. Henry Ford’’

My advice to you is that you should take risks,make new friends and continue to learn.Dream big and dare to challenge your dreams.Once you have the beliefs in your true powers life will change and dreams become reality.

Fifty shades of grey

I don’t know how many of you have seen or have read the book”Fifty shades of grey”.However today I am trying to look at some comparisons between the movie/book and our relationship with the workplace.

I have always been an workaholic and although now I am trying to establish some work -life balance I am still hooked with the ethical concept I need to work no matter what.In most days life without the work doesn’t look the same and I am sure that many of you are still obsessed and possessed by your work ethics.In some respect having great work ethic is great but this doesn’t mean  we need to get married with work at all times.

For me work has a special meaning and in all due respect I have a “fifty shades of grey relationship” with my beautiful workplace.

As ALJames stated in his website and I quote:”

Anna  goes to interview young entrepreneur Christian Grey, she encounters a man who is beautiful, brilliant, and intimidating. The unworldly, innocent Ana is startled to realize she wants this man and, despite his enigmatic reserve, finds she is desperate to get close to him. Unable to resist Ana’s quiet beauty, wit, and independent spirit, Grey admits he wants her, too—but on his own terms.

Shocked yet thrilled by Grey’s singular erotic tastes, Ana hesitates. For all the trappings of success—his multinational businesses, his vast wealth, his loving family—Grey is a man tormented by demons and consumed by the need to control. When the couple embarks on a daring, passionately physical affair, Ana discovers Christian Grey’s secrets and explores her own dark desires.”

So let’s recap folks,how many of you felt quite intimidated ,yet attracted by your workplace?Do you still remember the day when you joined a company where you fell in love with?

8 years ago,I joined Making Space and I was somehow a newbie in the business.Like Anna ,I found my organisation brilliant,successful and for me it was intimidating.People were friendly but had the professional astute I always desired.When sought advice and guidance I felt in awe by their knowledge and skills.Having worked with so many amazing individuals and what I like the most is that I had the opportunity to maintain my wild spirit.Still young and unexperienced in some areas I play untamed.I love to create,innovate and develop new ideas.My “Christian Grey” wants me with all my flaws and this is what I love the most.I am indeed entwined by my desire for passion and lust.I take things slowly and passionately and I am not consumed by my needs.

I often think about our relationship with new employees.As part of the application process when you apply for a job you need to submit an application form and a cover letter that complement with CV.Are we properly groomed for promotion?What employers see when they look at us?Do we have that” love at first sight” or “the first impression count the most?”Are we hooked with a sexy and charming Christian Grey when we apply for new roles?

Couple of days back I was reading few poems when I discovered this one and this poem has some food for my own thoughts:

what do you see?

when you look at me,

what do you see? 

do you see me, 

or just some girl? 

when you look at my smile, 

do you see a real one, 

or just me faking one? 

when you look at my face, 

do you see a happy, laughing face, 

or a depressed one, hiding it? 

when you look at my body, 

do you see my beautiful skin, 

or just all of my ugly scars? 

when you look into my eyes, 

do you see my sparkling eyes, 

or me holding back all the tears? 

when you look into my heart, 

do you see a healthy, pumping heart, 

or a broken, just barley pumping one? 

when you look into my soul, 

do you see a soul filled with joy and love, 

or an empty soul? 

be honest, just tell me, 

what you really see, 

when you look at me.

 Author: Kaitlyn Sigler

And as an employer what do they see when they look at us?First and foremost as a manager I look for creativity,fast track of achievements and having ideas to learn and put their ideas into practice.

I often dished couple of work case scenarios where employees need to be able to think outside the box and use common sense.Although skills and experiences are the must in my field I need to see how people react in unexpected situation.

I like to see people who are able to ask questions (for example asking about their learning and development ,career rewards ,job promotion and so forth.

I like people to use corkiness and be cheeky,We need to be able to create an enjoyable atmosphere around us if we wish to thrive.

So guys,what do you see when you look at me?

Do you see my desire to be pleased,my innocence when I have to deal with uncomfortable situation and have been tamed to the boned (blushing at the thoughts)

Do you see my eagerness to learn new skills and master the ones I already possessed?

Like Anna ,I will always be attracted by a powerful and intimidated Christian Grey.I like the power and the drive and the need to have structure and control.I like the beauty and the the erotic side of a pleasant life time journey.

Anna enjoyed the ride,back and forth ,she discovered passion ,lust and desire.She became confident and felt beautiful and seductive.We all need that descriptive concept in factual life however meaninglessly we try to encrypt the wild and pony me image to suggest that we have it all(Confidence,arrogance,skills and control).As a description we do tent to please easily hence the caveat of controlled pyramid of needs.I am trying not to touch base the sexist topic in here and I would prefer to design and draw the line towards Anna/woman concept .

A strong woman can build an empire but foremost she needs to be able to build herself advice to any of you who want to be successful is that you need to have a very clear and faithful relationship with yourself.You will never be able to build up a successful career if you don’t know how to deal with your own insecurities which in most cases contribute to your problems.Your work,your career is your serene love with your beautiful man and you should give 100% .Love is a two ways street which requires commitment and passion.Although your Christian Grey may be/or not around the corner you may end up with an insecure or broken “man” which requires lots of fixing.With this in mind please try the allure of an employee in full control and confidence of himself/herself will prove irresistible.We are born for greater and we are the change we want to see around us.

Nevertheless I can write endlessly about this but I summarise my post with a beautiful quote:

I have met so many heartbroken men. It’s a catastrophe. Women are easily overcome by the process that happens when a boy falls in love and becomes a man. Men’s hearts are so often broken. Still, you have to leave your broken heart in a place where- when the woman who knows how to see what a gift is, sees it- your broken heart can be picked up again. I think that it takes a very strong woman (inner strength) to be able to handle a man falling in love with her, without morphing into a monster (the process is a very potent process, it can poison a woman, really). A woman thinks she wants a man to fall in love with her for all the perks that come with it; but when a real love really does happen, when a real man shows his manhood; it’s often too powerful a thing to endure without being poisoned. Hence, all the heartbroken men. But, I do believe that there are strong women in the world today. A few. But there are. You could say, that the mark of a real woman, is a woman who can handle a man- a man falling in love with her. A woman who can recognize that, and keep it with her.” 

― C. JoyBell C.

Anyways peeps think about this quote from outside the box.The quotes plays the symbiosis between an powerful woman and a broken man however life or work relationships are often disciplined by the same ideology.Power brings success so choose wisely.Besides we all need some fifty shades of grey to fill our inner or outer passion.

Be needy,dare,dream ,do!!Whatever you are a Christian Grey or an Anna try to unleash your passion.Unchain your demons.Be bad,be bold,be canny.And for once lose control.

Utmost simplicity


I don’t know about you but often in the middle of the day I scream for the need of air.I have this urge to stop running and stop for a while and smell the roses.

Life with simplicity gives me meanings.After a long day at work I enjoy to get in my car and go for a ride.Sometimes I go to places as I feel the need to bond but often I am going for a ride as I enjoy being out.Although I am surrounded by rules to ensure that I achieve everything I planned,I enjoy to take a break from the normality.I am covered layers by layers in worries,plans,goals and to do lists but at my core I expose my nakedness and express my freedom with simplicity.

“A simple life is not seeing how little we can get by with—that’s poverty—but how efficiently we can put first things first. . . . When you’re clear about your purpose and your priorities, you can painlessly discard whatever does not support these, whether it’s clutter in your cabinets or commitments on your calendar. (148)” 

― Victoria MoranLit From Within: Tending Your Soul For Lifelong Beauty

Simplicity for me matters the most.It gives me serenity and peace.It rekindles and rewire s every single sense of control.For moments I could feel lost from the reality but so bonded with the nature.I can easily smell the air and utter for the plasticity of the nature.I can connect with what  is lost.The noise and all its people. Although alone I feel the warmth of people and the nature.I can feel the battle of the little plant who seek to get out from the frozen ground,the little drop of water stopped on the little leaf.Could feel the silence unveiling its beauty.Silence ,in most times is the most beautiful sound.The sound of untold,unborn and not to happen.

I do believe in simplicity.For me simplicity means to enjoy my morning coffee whilst half naked.Moving and feeling the touch of the bedding and the warmth of my body whilst the air carelesses me gently.

For me simplicity means a love affair.A complicated affair with the inner and outer self until decide what is right and what is wrong.The trivial moment when “I don’t want to wake up” marries “ one more time”.

Simplicity means a failure of the math exam,when solving a difficult problem doesn’t spark the Eureka moment.Simplicity frees the equation of all imcumbrances,theorems,formulas,data and reduces to the most simplistic term.Simplicity means the core of the atom when the particles plays its round.

Simplicity omits the distorted course of life.It doesn’t have the need to run by all the ups and downs but rather by the moment.

Simplicity is the collection of memories played and collected in a little boxes.It stores moments lived and spurred at every single moment of time.

Simplicity means making love to the core.Having passion,romance,aggression and tenderness.Discovering Matisse’s dancers and embraces in the moves.

Simplicity brings back the childhood and the wisdom.The dreams,the plays ,the games,the sunsets,the smells of the baked cookies ,the touches of your lover ,all that count when the time stops.For me simplicity means to sit on the bench next to the lovely 80 years old lady who keeps telling me the same story again and again and laugh together at her jokes until my belly hurts.

Simplicity means sipping my cold coffee until I crave for the next one.

At the utmost,simplicity is my own drug who bugs my escape from the reality and getting back to the simple duties and interest I almost forgotten.It derails my concept of being who I need to be and remain the old me,the raw version of my inner beauty.In my simplicity I get charmed and awed by the awakening moment when all are rejoiced at their best.Nature unfold its beauty and I am there to capture the moment.

I have being kissed slowly and passionately by life ,unravelling my desire for more.

I dont understand all the things what surround me but I dont try to change the course of nature,I don’t hunt the phantom of “what if” but rather I make aquitances with “seduce me,I am all yours”.

I embrace simplicity with everything I have.And as Leornardo da Vinci quotes once: “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.”

And at the darkest moment simplicity commit adultery with the daily norm.It remains mute and confused but the speed of daily chores and the rounds which often are bribed by our greediness for more and more.

Like the pyramids simplicity often fades its beauty when the storm comes.Compromises reins in our despairs if it allows.Simplicity starts with me and you.With the shyness “hello” which is forgotten by default.

I am as mad as a midget

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Hey howdy,today I will try to be a cool mum,a gansta of downtown Brooklyn or even from outskirt Manchester.I will surprise you with my unravelling cocktail of colourful language in order to try to fit into this mad and lunatic world.Please don’t get offended by me or don’t you ever dare to think that I lost my plot but I want to expose the beautiful and fantastic eurythmy of modernism era.Whether you are a a cool parent,millennian,baby boomer or whatever society recall  or name you these days I will try to revoke my right to write freely about whats bothering me.I might look mad as a midget but hey,who cares?


Today I embrace “shout the fuck up” in order to impress.I could call my “non existent” partner ,the mother f…er ,asshole and tell him that I will cut his balls off if he will ever ,ever cheat on me.

Rather than being cowardice because I like my own peace and quiet moment,I could turn into the wild bitch and tell everyone that ‘’I am f’’’’ing tired of you,mother f…er bustards,because you pissed me off.

The society doesn’t stop here.At school children learn to fight,bully and gain the popularity games by :o.m.g,dude, you’re a pussy or an asshole.  Kids learnt a new language by default considering that is so cool in order to impress.

In my desire to look luscious I could even try to make an attempt to discuss about what is sexy nowadays and how to talk dirty if I want to get a boyfriend and not to forget the flirting games ,hey man that is a total disaster.Probably you should search the entire google engine to learn on how to converse with a new date or I should say that I could better ask Siri or Cordana ?Nevertheless you should be also a sexual expert in Kama Sutra as soon you reach age of 11.

The psychology of credulity doesn’t stop here.I wanna be cool,men.I should stop to say the world nigra and the black as this is a censored topic.In my eagerness to be politically correct ,I should remember the cultural boundaries hence to try to fit into one of these categories.This include taking responsibilities for maintaining my own sanity and for making choices that determine what I become.In my day to day life I have been known to be pretty cool and herein my meth kicks in(I need to mention to everyone that drugs are not my cup of tea and I am not keen on them either) but rethorically speaking ,a cool individual could be on pots as its trendy and you rock man!!!! This charade could be endless at the first stake.Now and again I like a good joke but the obscene goes beyond my level of acceptance.Throughout the years the language gauges into infamity. Popularity and rituals are under the influence of reduction of the grammar  literature and our dearest speech is similarly forgotten in translation.We forget by status quo,the lectures imposed within the greek mythology and although the descartes’s  psychology  is still stand in situ we offer to mirror the gang language in exchange to the the english worthiness of being posh,classy or even turn into snobbish.The extremist line cohabit as too adultery partners.

The rituals of Cardasians,the Real housewife of beverly hills,the mob housevives,or even born in chelsea fades Hemingways,Dummas,Byrons,E.Bronte or C.Bell to name a few.

In the need of popularity the “fifty shades of Grey” defines a woman.After all ,do I look obscene in my midget layout?Probably I will win the popularity contest because I undressed what has been censored.

I think that my mouth has been on a loose for so long and to end in a very humoristic way,I shall say:


Hippies and bureaucrats -the disease to please

It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad. C. S. Lewis

I like to think that we are the change we make in the world. Although I quoted Gandhi as such the conceptual framework of change comes from within: nothing will change unless we will do something different. Although yesterday I touched base the garbage can theory today I juxtapose on the phenomena that employees behaviors is not a stupid concept.Perhaps this is the paraphrased way to describe the engine of any 21st Century organization, big or small. After re-structuring, re-engineering, re-sizing and re-designing, the forgotten ‘re’ are renewal and reinventing. Only behavioural change can do these..The garbage-can theory (Cohen, March, and Olsen 1972) adds that an organization “is a collection of choices looking for problems, issues and feelings looking for decision situations in which they might be aired, solutions looking for issues to which they might be the answer, and decision makers looking for work”. Problems, solutions, participants, and choice opportunities flow in and out of a garbage can, and which problems get attached to solutions is largely due to chance.
However what we should do to change employees’ beliefs?Are we hippies or we are just bureaucrats or I shall call it ‘’the office mice” type ?Change of behavior requires lots of guts,knowledge and expertise.Although there are lots of books about behavioural styles within organization I acclaimed the nowadays culture reinforce changes via copy-coach-correct approach.Behaviour as such is a function of its consequences.You don’t need to agree with me on this however we learn via operant conditioning style.

Operant conditioning as described by Skinner is referred to as instrumental learning, a method of learning that occurs through reinforcements and punishments for behavior. It encourages the subject to associate desirable or undesirable outcomes with certain behaviors. Skinner’s views were slightly less extreme than those of Watson (1913). Skinner believed that we do have such a thing as a mind, but that it is simply more productive to study observable behavior rather than internal mental events.Skinner believed that the best way to understand behavior is to look at the causes of an action and its consequences.Operant conditioning can be used to explain a wide variety of behavior, from the process of learning, to addiction and language acquisition. However, operant conditioning fails to taken into account the role of inherited and cognitive factors in learning, and thus is an incomplete explanation of the learning process in humans and animals.For example, Kohler (1924) found that primates often seem to solve problems in a flash of insight rather than be trial and error learning. Also social learning theory (Bandura, 1977) suggests that humans can learn automatically through observation rather than through personal experience.So are we really of copycat in the phenomena of evolution? “While in theory the science of genetic comparison should solve the mystery of our ancestry, the results are actually raising more questions regarding our evolutionary lineage and origins, and opening the door to ‘forbidden’ territory.” – Greg Braden (Deep Truth p. 9)

There are lots of answers out there however within organization we are bounded so much on our perception style, a process by which individuals organize and interpret their sensory impressions in order to give meaning to their environment. Therefore there are many examples of theories regarding behavioral approach that are believed to be proven and believed without question, however the theory that behavior matter most is one of them. As we evolve as human we tend to err and have no more desire to please. We are individual with a unique gene and as part of our evolutionary stand we have shown that many long-standing views about things like our world, our bodies, and life itself have to change, and the organization we work and operate has shown us that we need to change.
As for me I have no desire to please anyone. I have been disease free of copycat style however I delve into the idea that I need to change in order to survive.

Bandura, A. (1977). Social learning theory. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall.
Cohen,March and Olsen(1972) the garbage can theory extracted from Managing change in organization by Colin Carnall
Kohler, W. (1924). The mentality of apes.
Skinner, B. F. (1938). The Behavior of organisms: An experimental analysis. New York: Appleton-Century.
Skinner, B. F. (1953). Science and human behavior.
Watson, J. B. (1913). Psychology as the Behaviorist views it. Psychological Review, 20, 158–177.