Author: I am that girl

Shift into purpose

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In the end,it is important to remember that we can not become what we need to be by remaining what we are.(Leadership is an art -Max De Pree)

I have been told that I have a restless mind and probably some people who know me will agree with the statement as I am easy to engage in topics of wide interest and I could suddenly become inquisitive by default. I am an eager learner and I believe that we could constantly learn something if we take the time to listen more or even take the time to read articles and topics of own interest. Once the conversation started, a whole new world could emerged. We live in a society where social media become the new online library and different forums and portal become the new friends’ channels. Therein the attention to read something and put the idea into practice it succumb the sub existence that we have to shit the paradigm into a specific purpose.

The road to here

Thank to LinkedIn and other social media we can easily identify sources of communication and learning. The vital role to succumb the learning process to the new level encompassed both engagement and communication: thinking about what we learn and not at last to put in practice the lesson learnt. Although learning curve has lots of depths it also requires attention, focus, personal strength, a clear development plan and the list could be endless. Heuristically lots of people use PDP as a learning tool where they designed their own SWOT analysis hence to know where their stand in term of personal development. Herein I don’t want to juxtapose the need the personal learning but rather to undress the phenomena why we need to shift into a purpose. Why do we need a purpose as such? Why do we need to question everything? Well, to be honest I enlist couple of ideas and it is totally up to you to pick what relates to you. My post is not designed to fit exactly into your purpose by rather to give you some insights.By all means the choice is totally yours.Being inquisitive creates the badass phenomena or it could be classified as being erratically irrational or polymorphic mad by nature? A life without curiosity is quite simply a boring life. It’s the power of the curious mind that has made humans as advanced and as imaginative as we find ourselves today. Perhaps the following quotes can spark your own curiosity:

“The best thing for being sad,” replied Merlin, beginning to puff and blow, “is to learn something. That’s the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honour trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then — to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting. Learning is the only thing for you. Look what a lot of things there are to learn.”― T.H. White, The Once and Future King

So beautiful isn’t it? The dismissal science of purpose; The demise of human existence. Two strands of the new humanism sweeping process and each of them gets a new fresh treatment by each of us.I don’t know about you but for me the best known nudge is automatic enrollment into the learning and devouring each piece of information available to me.I am attracted to the quirks of human knowledge,full stop.As long as your mind remains inquisitive and want to have a purpose you will have the ability to improve.Being able to relate stories and share knowledge has an immense advantage in improving our ability to learn. They are types of people that make a huge difference in our life and the one word that I think of when I think of either one of them is “sponge”.  They soak in everything they can, but eventually they release they learn and share it with others.They also do not learn only from people that are “above” them in the organizational hierarchy, but they learn from every person they interact with.  They focus not only on the knowledge of that person, but they soak in the characteristics of that person and learn about them as people, which is imperative in the change process.Even when they disagree, they don’t jump in and start defending their beliefs, they continue to listen. They think. They absorb. They think of what they are learning, how they can adapt it, and how they can share.Learning takes a back-bone to stand up for what you believe in, but it also is imperative to focus on what you can do better.  Being in here and being able to share these inshight with you ,give me the ability to shift into my purpose.I am here to learn,to engage into a world full of knowledge and make a better word.For a start ,I am a newbie but together we are a whole and we can make the difference therein we can shift into a purpose,right?

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Building bridges

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“Do your best, and be a little better than you are.”
― Gordon B. Hinckley

 

Today I had the opportunity to meet Dr.Alaa Garad.(picture enclosed)

Although Dr.Garad has an impressive professional profile and lots of successes under his belt ,I don’t want to juxtapose my awe toward Dr.Alaa but rather to give an overview about our meeting as such. Communication between parties was fruitful and challenging. I found myself furnishing lots of good practices and establishing the existing gaps within our cultural boundaries. Under the myriads of information we have managed to disclose our desire to strive for excellence and decided on future plan on what we can do not only to build professional bridges but also to innovate the existing services.Dr.Garad is so passionate about IIP and organizational learning and came up with lots of ideas about building up a professional bridge. The meeting had resonated with me because of its strong bond. The discussion extended to social networking, how well we represent our people, including our relationship with coworker, people who uses our services and not at last our professional colleagues. Nevertheless the meeting was a beautiful mixture of cultural blend bringing together the need to address our equality and diversity agenda and the existing gaps between international borders.

Although we discussed the pros and cons in such professional manner hence the mixing of good and bad came up as natural and healthy agenda. As many of us are just adept to build up a social or professional network Dr.Garad and I, decided to nurture our relationship and establish some type of working relationship.

As for me, I believe in building professional bridges and I believe in social connection. Very often changes are, many of your connection could help you in whatever capacity .I believe in nurturing relationship as well providing ethical ground and transparencies in our work patterns. I believe that we can strive for the better and we can deem toward excellence by default.I believe that we can make use of our connection hence we can easily build bridges. As Aristotle said, ‘Excellence is a habit.’ I would say furthermore that excellence is made constant through the feeling that comes right after one has completed a work which he/she  himself/herself  finds undeniably awe-inspiring.” Excellence is a habit indeed. We harvest what we plant. Therein the need to get use to the idea that we become what we practice.

I would like to thank again to Dr.Garad.For giving me the opportunity to share my love for my work, my passion for quality and innovation. To share my ideas and dreams, to discuss personal development plan, career goals and milestones achieved and not at last to give me the opportunity to build a  professional bridge.

“Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.”― Aristotle

A plant in a dry land

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“Water does not resist. Water flows. When you plunge your hand into it, all you feel is a caress. Water is not a solid wall, it will not stop you. But water always goes where it wants to go, and nothing in the end can stand against it. Water is patient. Dripping water wears away a stone. Remember that, my child. Remember you are half water. If you can’t go through an obstacle, go around it. Water does.”― Margaret Atwood, The Penelopiad

So let’s start with the beginning. With the photosynthesis of a plant. Plants need air, light, warmth, water and nutrients to be healthy. If they are healthy, they can continue making their own food through photosynthesis. The same theory applies to management of individuals. I don’t know about you but I need my ‘’water’ ’and other types of” nutrients” to be healthy. I need a healthy environment to grow and thrive. But on the same token I am like water. I flow and go where I want to go, I move obstacles to achieve my milestones and so forth.

Today I brought this metaphor to you in order to draw you attention that we all need a healthy environment to thrive. Although plants needs air,light,warmth and water we ,humans,need much more to grow. Sometimes we are lucky enough to be  working for amazing organization which not only gave us water to grow but also help us to nourish enough to strive however not everyone is as lucky. I am just thinking about the one who are working/living in a “toxic” environment .I can picture in my head  how these individuals  gasp for water .What really happens with these individuals? How they manage to get the power to survive in a long period of drought? Herein the metaphor could relate to cultural backgrounds and any other PESTLE factors.

Exploiting  “human plants “ natural response to stress caused by drought, researchers have engineered crops that build tolerance and can withstand longer without water, while also extending the point of no return when no amount of water can save the withered plant.

Today I was thinking again about correlation between “Marlow Hierarchy of needs” and our psychological desire to grow at different level. What really motivates us? Where is the need to water ourselves to fulfil our needs? What type of crop had been synthetized to build tolerance and acceptance to the current level of needs?

Maslow (1943) stated that people are motivated to achieve certain needs. When one need is fulfilled a person seeks to fullfil the next one, and so on.The earliest and most widespread version of Maslow’s (1943, 1954) hierarchy of needs includes five motivational needs, often depicted as hierarchical levels within a pyramid.This five stage model can be divided into basic (or deficiency) needs (e.g. physiological, safety, love, and esteem) and growth needs (self-actualization).

The deficiency, or basic needs are said to motivate people when they are unmet. Also, the need to fulfil such needs will become stronger the longer the duration they are denied. For example, the longer a person goes without food the more hungry they will become.One must satisfy lower level basic needs before progressing on to meet higher level growth needs. Once these needs have been reasonably satisfied, one may be able to reach the highest level called self-actualization.

Every person is capable and has the desire to move up the hierarchy toward a level of self-actualization. Unfortunately, progress is often disrupted by failure to meet lower level needs. Life experiences including divorce and loss of job may cause an individual to fluctuate between levels of the hierarchy.

Having said that how we move on? How do we survive in a dry land? Reflecting on the paradigm of Marslow ‘s needs I think we should rather focus on primary level of needs in order to survive. For some getting back to basic is degrading however I believe that getting back to basic required lots of strength and wisdom. We all need that type of “water” to survive so let start in here.

Dare,dream,Do.Never give up and that’s my answer…Somewhere and somehow you will get the “water” to survive.

 

Reference

http://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html accessed today,29/06/15

Who carers for the carers

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we often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. Leo Buscaglia

The definition of a “carer” is the source of some confusion across all health sectors. This is because it is applied both to paid staff and family/friends who adopt caring roles.

It is also a label with which family/friend carers do not to identify. This may relate to lack of awareness that they are fulfilling an identifiable ‘caring role’ or associated stigma. Many family/friend carers view themselves as a supportive husband, sister, mother, friend rather than just a “carer”.

But herein who really cares for the carers?Paid and unpaid? The topic should be divided into two folds as carers are the backbones of health and social care sectors. Very often carers faces challenges associated with stigma,discrimination,emotional pressure and they have seen as often to face some types of physical and emotional pressures on daily basis. So what we do for all these people? What can we do to reward the job what they are doing and how to reduce the pressure they face at work or in their personal lives? Although research reveals 75% of people believe those working in care don’t receive the status or praise they are due. I don’t want to juxtapose on the ideology that every single organization does the same for their staff and volunteers,carers paid and unpaid but I work in care and we put a lot of effort into our commitments to care for our staff however I don’t want to relate the article as much as a praise to my own organization but rather to expose the dilemma which carers are faces on day to day basis.Whether they are identified carers in the field we should not forget the unpaid caring element where the struggles lie.

Who does really care for our mum,dad,borther ,sisters,siblings and so on?What we really do to make sure we are a caring society?

Answers are very simple, indeed.

There are different methods and strategies on how to care for the carers ,paid and unpaid.Although there are incentives and job rewards schemes we have also to remember about the well being of the individual and the mental toughness as such individual possesses.We often tend to respond eco-centrically to the adverts that we really care about our carers but the truth indeed is out there. We can only do our best to listen to the people we care for and ensure we attend to their needs. And the more important role is to look at the carer and their coping strategies. We tend to grow within our roles but very often we neglect the emotional element.Who carers for the carer could not only represent a bottleneck issue but also could be an arresting idea,which seems to be featuring increasingly frequently in the debate about the future of health and social care and about the care of our people.Therefore we do our job for people,by people and with people.

This imperative to engage with our people who uses health care services and to enable them shape and control their future services is a common theme that informs a range of participative and collaborative approaches from asset based health care services to co-production and from personalisation to peer support.

 

And to be honest carers respond better when people pays more attention to them. Herein we have to remember that caring job is a vocation and we need to be passionate about the job we do and if you need my advice I could tell you that you either posses these qualities or not as caring job is a hand on role which requires dedication ,commitments and lately the caring focuses more on the 6Cc which endures values and behaviours that underpin the core of health and social care ethos.The 6Cs are defined as care,compassion,competence,communication,courage and commitment.

Care

Care is our core business and that of our organisations and the care we deliver helps the individual person and improves the health of the whole community. Caring defines us and our work. People receiving care expect it to be right for them consistently throughout every stage of their life.

Compassion

Compassion is how care is given through relationships based on empathy, respect and dignity; it can also be described as intelligent kindness and is central to how people perceive their care.

Competence

Competence means all those in caring roles must have the ability to understand an individual’s health and social needs and the expertise, clinical and technical knowledge to deliver effective care and treatments based on research and evidence.

Communication

Communication is central to successful caring relationships and to effective team working. Listening is as important as what we say and do and essential for “no decision about me without me”. Communication is the key to a good workplace with benefits for staff and people who uses our services alike.

Courage

Courage enables us to do the right thing for the people we care for, to speak up when we have concerns and to have the personal strength and vision to innovate and to embrace new ways of working.

Commitment

A commitment to our people who uses our services and populations is a cornerstone of what we do. We need to build on our commitment to improve the care and experience of our patients to take action to make this vision and strategy a reality for all and meet the health and social care challenges ahead.

 

Who carers for the carers is a two way process: to give and to get and to sum up, caring is a rewarding job as you get a lot in return. Not only you grow professionally but also at the personal level caring role could change you as a whole.You learn to become a better person,to get a new identity as a professional and often you can learn to discover yourself.You learn to forgive and forget and you learn to be compassionate. Also you learn from mistake and learn that every day matter the most .In the end of the day making a difference and making someone happy is the most rewarding role in the entirely world.

As for me, who really cares for me? My answer is subsequently very simple. I am fortunate to have a great employer, family and friends and not at last lovely people I do take care too but they also care a lot in return. I am surrounded by a healthy environment which make me strive and that matter the most. I am lucky to care but also to be carer for. I don’t need anything else.

Are we the best of the hybrids?

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The term hybrid was originally coined by Peter Keen in the mid 1980s, but received its most precise and most quoted definition by Michael Earl:

“A person with strong technical skills and adequate business knowledge or vice versa …. hybrids are people with technical skills able to work in user areas doing a line job, but adept at developing and implementing IT application ideas”

Also a hybrid is defined as a product of mixing two or more different things and if we have to describe a correlation between career development and career goals, I should juxtapose that we posses for sure a mixture of cocktails unraveled with skills,knowledge,abilities and capabilities to develop new skills and not for last the hunger to accumulate more knowledge.

But according to the science hybrids are not always the best of everything and it’s been known that some hybrids had the wrong genome to start with and the products outcome was far from the one expected.

But how to identify the best hybrids?What qualities and personal traits they posses? As well as technichal knowledge implied by definition, it has been found that successful hybrids also need organization specific knowledge and management competences. The latter is perhaps the most important competence needed to ensure success. Although good cognitive, analytical and decision-making capabilities are required, the key competences needed are ‘soft’ inter-personal skills e.g.:

  • communications
  • negotiation
  • team building
  • motivating

In addition characteristics often cited and searched for include:

  • energy and enthusiasm
  • a sense of perspective
  • a great communicator
  • ability to work with broad concepts or precise detail
  • a driving attitude (“if change isn’t taking place we must make it happen”).

The article is for sure thought provoking and enfolds some ideas and thoughts about how to master the hybrid .Although we have identified the biological structure we need to know the appropriate formula on how to improve the copycat. In the end of the day a hybrid is a form of copycat developed by or with someone help. Therein we could encapsulate the idea that we could grow from within or we could put other people to harvest us rhetorically speaking. The question presented here is literally twisted that although we have the above listed characteristics nothing in the entire world could give us the security that we are presented with the best version of a hybrid, so my question summarises the above description. How do we cultivate and finally how we harvest the best hybrids?

According to the Marslow model and transactional analysis of Dr.Burne a hybrid could grow and developed in a contingency mode and moulded by performance and ongoing reviews. The underlying psychology could cascade at the lowest level of Behaviourism, including the Classical Conditioning of Pavlov and Skinner’s Operant Conditioning. These theories are largely based on controlled laboratory experiments (often with animals) and ignore complex emotional factors and social values. In reality this is reinforced by demand situations that hybrids could fulfil a deeper needs and the expectation skills could outstrips the supply although there is a need of a mixed approaches. The answer could entangle some hypotheses for sure. In the first instance we could harvest a hybrid by providing the best structure and guidance on how we really want the product to look like .What do we want to achieve? What is the last outcome as a result of hard work and continuous reviews? Do we automatically work against short term and long term goals or we expect the hybrid to function at the best ability? What he/she really becomes?

First at all a hybrid needs a role model to apply to. The matrix of needs could be developed at the lowest level and increased difficulties as it moves along. Although our needs for success could be different for each individual our role models provide the finest fingertip at the structural base.

Whether you are /or not a hybrid our parents,teachers, mentors,coaches,influences,managers and so on leave a mark on our development and ultimately we develop our own synergy to become unique in approach to ensure ultimate success.

as I came across this artcile I was intriqued by its approach so decided to debate.

I enclose the link as part of reference curiculum .

http://www.skyrme.com/insights/6hybrid.htm

Feel free to make comments and I am looking forward to hear from all of you.

What games are you playing?

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I always had some type of interest in Psychology and Psychiatry therein by career path  had led me to mental health field. Recently I came across Eric Berne’s book: “Games people play” and I was totally intrigued . There are lots of philosophies underpinned in there but I am not going to challenge Dr Berne about it as I don’t have the knowledge neither the skills to debate such subject but rather to share some of the insights I found useful. Although the semantics of games lie mainly on mathematical theories ,herein the transactional games analysis are clearly distinguished .The idioms of “What games people play” gives us an alienated phenomena into the grown-up subjected world which clearly are sensory and mentally deprived. I could not agree more with Dr Berne that beyond their social function in structuring time satisfactorily some games are urgently necessary for the maintenance of health in certain individuals. But my question here is: what type of games are we playing to get mentally and physically engaged? And to name only few there are stages in a game which are quite distinctive: first degree games which are socially acceptable in society ,second degree games which no permanent irremediable damage arises and third degree games which is played for keeps ,which finally end in surgery, the courtroom or the morgue.

Games are necessary for normal and day to day life functioning so I would rather stop talking and outline some of the known or unknown games played by many people.

 Thesaurus of games

Life games

eg:Alcoholic,

Debtor,

Kick me,

Now Ive got you

,you son of a bitch,

see what you made me do

Marital games

Corner

,Frigid woman

,courtroom,

Harried,

If it weren’t for you,

Look how hard Ive tried

,Sweetheart,

Party games

Aint it awful ,

Blemish,

Schlemiel,

Why don’t yu –yes but

Sexual games

Lets you and him fight

,perversion

,rapo

,the stocking game,

uproar

Underworld games

Cops and robbers

,how do you get out of here,

lets pull a fast one on joey

Consulting room games

Greenhouse

,im only trying to help you,

indigence,

peasant,

psychiatry,

stupid,

wooden leg

Good games

Bushman’s holiday

Cavalier

Happy to help

Homely sage

They’ll be glad they knew me

We, as children,adults and parents play games after games , a series of “mind games” in which people interact through a patterned and predictable series of “transactions” which are superficially plausible but which actually conceal motivations, include private significance to the parties involved, and lead to a well-defined predictable outcome, usually counterproductive.

As for me,I try to engage in game playing and I don’t think this will be the most appropriate forum to tell you which games I play however I hope you are intrigued by the list and if you wish to find more ,please drop some questions and will try my best to answer to you.

In the meantime I may ask you :what type of games are you playing ?The question is daring so lets see how many people have the courage to answer.

The time for the challenge…Countdown begins…. 

 

Is she worth investing?

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AAEAAQAAAAAAAAYWAAAAJGVlYjVjMTgwLTNhMDItNGViNS1hMjM4LThmYjk0MGZlYjllOQ.jpgAs mentioned in the previous post “what game are you playing “I somehow developed an avid interest into psychology and one of the topic I am reading at the moment is about sexual attraction. I bet the topic could attract a lot of controversies, both from women and men perspective as sexual attraction could be perceived differently by each of us. It has been widely known that men get sexually attracted by women and vice versa. According to Wikipedia “Sexual attraction is attraction on the basis of sexual desire or the quality of arousing such interest. Sexual attractiveness or sex appeal is an individual’s ability to attract the sexual or erotic interest of another person, and is a factor in sexual selection or mate choice.”

And the definition gives us an open door to a journey to sexual attraction as such but it doesn’t really contradict or even debate there could be some external and internal factors which could influence whether we like or love someone. According to psychology there are research which already established that sexual attraction has an intrinsic motivators which could influence sexual attraction.

  1. Compatibility

People tend to pair off with those who are generally similar or matching. This applies to physical attractiveness (Murstein,1972) and other factors such as education eg IQ(Hatfield et all,1978.Culture,especially religion, can also be important(Newcomb,1961).Although the research also juxtapose sometimes the opposite attracts(Winch,1955).

  1. Rewards and costs

Attention,affection,trust ,security,sharing,skills,information,status,money,energy,reproduction,sex and so forth herein some psychologists (Blau,1964;Homans,1974;Berscheid and Walster,1978)see relationships as being like an account’s balance sheet.

They look at the woman as low/high ROI  and such formula often applies:
Profit=Reward-Cost

 

There may also be a sense of investment in a relationship, and compromises based on expectation.

  1. Specific factors

Physical attraction is innate important, especially for men (Walster at all,1966).Also familiarity and exposure seems to increase liking(Festinger at all,1950;Zajonc et all,1971;)

Reciprocal liking –we tend to like people who we think like us(Aronson,1976).

 So peeps,do you think  that women are worth investing? Although we have some factors in here I don’t think that the list is endless. There are short term and long term sexual attraction but I don’t plan to go too much into details as there are for sure wider interest in sexual attraction.I don’t believe for a second that our peer men are just going to a bar/pub or even social gathering and after doing some type of visual scanning, they will  decide to approach the subject with :”Hi,there ,I am MR.X ,I am a Harvard,Yale or Standford graduate ,have so much investments and savings into my bank account and hey ,I think you’re hot and I am sexually attracted to you. I am planning to invest in you (emotional and financial)“And this is the dumbest approach ever which could be used by someone.

Most men are marriage-minded underneath but they seem much less interested in getting into a stable, committed relationship than women do, and seem to drag their heels.So do you have to prepare for a relationship or take things as they are?Should you acquire a broad education, exposing yourself to several areas of study, or should you hone in on one area and train in it extensively? Should you try to tick all men boxes before even become a dateable target?Oh my..I just think that I reach a point where I become a damsel in distress. If we have to tick so many boxes we will end up having no personality left ,just become a copycat of some selfish stereotype people.

As a result of all of these psychological and societal observations about women, it shouldn’t be too surprising that we can  separate sex and love, we define ourselves by our work, we don’t lack dating options, and hey we should talk about these discrepancies. Sexual attraction is often a taboo subjects and men don’t hone often with ideas. I don’t know about others but I do invest in my relationship at a very deep level.

As we talk a lot about networking, mentoring and any other management topics I think is time that we should touch base  about the human need which is called sexual attraction.

Guys ,please chime in here.Feel free to make  comments as I really want to know your opinion.

 

A Saturday thought

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The truth is you don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed.

Eminem

 

Life,hey !!!!We read a lot about depression ,anxiety and life problems however in most cases we are not prepare to take the bull by the horns and be ready to change things which often gone wrong therefore we are by all means a society of moaners .I do apologise if I ofended anyone but I don’t want to put everyone under the same umbrella as I know some people do not complain as much as others however I want to juxtapose the ”moaning” phenomena as a regular thing we,humans,preach on daily basis.And even then we may or may not complain when everything else does not turned well in our favour we still have our own ways to say things how they are or may not be. In many situations we stress, over-analyze and suddenly our problem seems to loom large and impossible. But in reality the problem is not always that big. Specifically,if I wish to talk about myself as a subject, I don’t spend all day thinking about it, nor does it totally consume me. Some things, yeah, they weigh heavy and come in and out of my mind; but for the most part, things get magnified here in a way that they’re might not be .I accept life as it is and as change comes and goes I find myself going with the flow. During the change, I shifted from seriously over-analyzing and obsessing )to a very logical and analytical way of seeing things .I always seek out for solution . Initially, things changed for practical reasons: with a new, itty bitty life and all that came with it, there was just no time or energy to treat things as I used to. I remember thinking, the first few times I rolled these thoughts in my head, that I’d spent my life over-analyzing because I obviously had nothing better things to do.

But there were other factors, too. For one, I think,I grew up.And yes,adults grow up. Also, this new-found mental freedom was the result of all the work I’d put into “my” as I was calling ”therapy”. And all in all, this was a win-win situation for me. Whatever the reasons, in the end, what’s mattered to me are the changes I’ve seen in myself and how I live my life. This is a process that’s been years in the works, and it continues.And believe me I learnt to “psycho” analise myself rather than having taking therapy to a psychiatrist but rather I should call the process my mental toughness lesson.So, there is indeed a marked difference in how the things affect me in reality vs. how they come across in my mind .It looks rather complicated but the consequence of this, though, is that when many people have that type of awkardeness which is often distorded by social media. For the newbies I know is hard.It is hard to publish a new post,it is hard to connect with people and its hard to seek for help but do you  know what?There are lots of people out there who already started some channels to help people like you and like myself too although I could say by now that I am kind of a “senior” in here.I always think that they must feel awkward, too, thinking about all they’ve read here and thinking that they may not have the experience and be a such a social mess. Lots of you may think like:I always have an urge to acknowledge the elephant in the room and be like, “Hey, I’m not as insane as I come across in my blog. I swear. Really. See me right here? Not insane!” But that, I think, would just make things worse. And the truth is, the moment passes. I feel the awkwardness, but it goes away within minutes, and it never seems worth it to make anything of it. So guys ,please listen to me…I have been there once…

Many ups and down marked my life  on LinkedIn and social media again and again.The silver lining even in that was that it served as another experience for me to learn and grow from. Whatever’s come after that has been completely manageable because that was so devastating. Even recent nonsense that threw me for a loop – even that was done and gone once the initial “WTF?” feeling passed and I figured out what I really felt and acted on those feelings.

So…. to summarize. I survived all the odds and now after years and years I like to share that experience with you.I really don’t know how to look back at the things that took up so much space here and wrap ‘em up in a neat bow. I’ve started some posts where I try to offer a window into what I feel now and why, but it’s such a difficult thing to capture. Maybe it’s just something that really can’t be captured – not in any wholly accurate, complete way.

I guess the best I can say is, it’s all good. Doors have been firmly closed and I feel good about it.As social media expanded ,I learnt and grow.I gained confidence and self esteem. I’ve moved on, and I feel good about it. My attitude is good. I’m good.

And the things that lie ahead? They’re good, too. So folks…keep writing,keep sharing and keep learning..life is good…and I completely forgot…Its Saturday so wishing everyone a resourceful Saturday (with whatever you have in mind!!!).

Weak ties

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By cultivating rich social networks, by cultivating weak ties, not just close ties but the weak ties, by becoming connectors and by connecting others so that they connect us, we create a world in which these self-amplifying feedback loops feed on top of each other.Jason Silva

I don’t know how many people are familiar with the term of weak ties and how this phenomena implies to you.To be honest I didn’t know much either until I have read the book”The power of habits”by Charles Duhigg.

Duhigg arguably describes Granovetter’s theory of weak ties as the most fascinating form of networking which give you the benefits of being introduced to the new people which may help you in landing a job. Granovetter analogizes weak ties to being bridges which allow us to disseminate and get access to information that we might not otherwise have access to. In fact, Granovetter states, “all bridges are weak ties.”So my question here,is LinkedIn a form of weak tie?I could say that depends of the level of connection you establish on your network.If you are just a network fanatic and willing to build a network based on numbers then the weak tie is not applicable to you at all.However if you take the time to build up a strong connection  I could say  weak tie could be easily related to you.We all have friends and acquaintances.On another hands our friends have their friends too which often create a web of connections hence our acquaintances are far less likely to know each other. Blimey,it seems the web is expanding and our information often comes from wider sources.Therein I more likely to find information from my weak ties rather then from my close connection.Duhigg described the weak ties are also a method which could develop gossip as such or even political movement and I quote:”Our weak ties acquaintances are often as influential if not more than our close friends.As Granovetter wrote:Individual with few weak ties will be deprived of information from distant parts of the social system and will be confined to the provincial news and views of their close friends.This deprivation will not only insulate them from the latest ideas and fashions but may put them in a disadvantage position in the labor market,where advancement can depend..on knowing about appropriate jobs opening at just about right time.Furthermore such individuals may be difficult to organise or integrate into any political movement of any kind…while members of one of two clique may be efficiently recruited,the problem is that,without weak ties,any momentum generated in this way does not spread beyond this clique.As a result most of the population will be untouched.”I believe in communicating through the weak ties we need explicit language which is well understood by everyone.Therefore the more weak ties we have,the more connected to the world we are and we are more likely to get information about new jobs which are going on in the market,new trends which are good for your career development and progression,new ideas which could help you with your entrepreneurial skills or even with your leadership status quo.My thoughts are that we need weak ties regardless what.As for me I always complement open mind individual which use LinkedIn as a learning tool.Networking created in vague isn’t enough to create a movement and is not able at all to place you on the market.But when the strong ties of friendship and the weak ties of LinkedIn merge they create incredible moments.And then its the time when change can begin.

Be a weak tie ambassador.Be professional,ethical and willing to contribute as you never know what weak ties could bring.

Life scripts

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According to Eric Berne:

Nearly all human activity is programmed by an ongoing script dating from early childhood,so that the feeling of autonomy is nearly always an illusion-an illusion which is the greatest affliction of the human race because it makes awareness,honesty,creativity,and intimacy possible for only a few fortunate individuals.For the rest of humanity,other people are seen mainly as objects to be manipulated.They must be invited,persuaded,seduced,bribed or forced into playing the proper roles to reinforce the protagonists position and fulfill his script and his preoccupation with these efforts keeps him from torquing in the real world and his own possibilities.

Fair enough.But we all are born as something new and unique,something that never existed before however life scripts often overestimate the sense of autonomy and ditched the individuality of a person.All of us have psychological scripts,a compulsion to live out the pre-programmed life and therefore by having a very complex personality we create a need to fit into a category which is pre-determined by the society we live ,by family and even by cultural boundaries .There are core conceptual framework which is divided into three categories wherein involve personal identity and destiny eg who I am,What I am doing here and who are all those others?

The concept is interesting as involves lots of self discovery and not in all cases people are very pleased to discover their abilities,strengths and weaknesses.Through life spam people messages are defined and contain varying degrees of destructiveness or to the opposite get constructive behavior which make them to build a successful life. The goals setting enhanced our abilities to search,discover,to learn to develop ,to experience and express.However manipulative roles are parts of rackets and games that contribute to the person scripts.There are drama,role playing and self analysis.But to make someone to change we need to explore our endless possibilities.To sum up I want to say that not everyone is a winner nor everyone is a loser but there is balance,control,motivation and for some ,comfort.

Nevertheless life scripts are simple and my advice …take your life in your own hands and enjoy it..do your best…explore..life is a journey and not a destination.