“Renew, release, let go. Yesterday’s gone. There’s nothing you can do to bring it back. You can’t “should’ve” done something. You can only DO something. Renew yourself. Release that attachment. Today is a new day!”― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience
Many times in life we go through difficult paths.And it goes to a stage where the only option you have is to flat-out hit rock bottom—emotionally, financially, mentally, and spiritually. It kind of throws you in the deep end and the crash could become lethal in many ways therefore you see everything from distorted lenses and sometimes you feel that this is the end of you.You feel that you have crashed and thats all,its nothing what you can do to get better.
And probably lots of people have the same mindset,the negative mindset that fed the entire you and it gets you to a point where survival become the greatest war you could ever faced when alive.
It’s in those dark moments of despair your anger and frustration become so great and you declare once and for all to never again accept such mediocrity from yourself or from others.
The thing is that how many times in life we have experienced the hardship? Once,twice or even more ? And once you see a pattern you somehow un-see it.When the same thing keeps repeating itself its hard to pretend that is just a coincidence.Once down,all dysfunctional behaviours are finally revealed. If you never hit your lowest point, the dysfunctions continue to go unnoticed and unchecked, playing out under the denial radar and inevitably creating bigger dysfunctions and a harder fall down the track. Until the bubble bursts, you cleverly delude yourself into thinking everything is just great—and your life ends up being built on a big, fat lie and a false foundation.
I have just finished devouring Brene Brown’s book: the gift of imperfection.She said and I quote:”Owing our story and loving ourself through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.”
I could not agree more with Brene.We are totally imperfect and should not change the way we are however acknowledging that we have flaws make us move forward in a much more easier way.And when life gives you a hundred reason to break down and cry ,show life that you have million reasons to smile and laugh.How much we know and understand ourselves is critically important but there is something more important : the power to stay strong and to love yourself.When at the bottom you question your motives, other people’s motives, your beliefs, your fears, why you did things, why you didn’t do things, why you attracted certain people and circumstances, why you succeeded, why you failed. The very fabric of your life is turned upside down and examined in raw detail. It’s from this point that you build again, from the ground up, with a fresh perspective based on your renewed sense of clarity.
We encounter obstacles on every journey we make and this is a very constraint and researched proof fact.Our world could be tossed around within seconds and the best lesson I have learnt so far is not to fix things at that very moment in time. Our disempowering patterns and behaviours become glaringly obvious, and the triggers that kept us repeating those behaviour patterns come into sharp focus.It is better to slow down rather than relying on old standbys ,pushing through,soldiering on,sucking up all the bad actions and emotions.And when we struggle to believe in our actions and or worthiness,we hustle for it.Then shame began to reign our existence.Shame keeps worthiness away by convincing us that owing our stories will lead to people to think less of us.We are afraid that people wont like us if they know the truth about who we are,where we came from,what we believe,how much we struggling and what make us to act the way we do,what make us human.In addition to the fear of disappointed people we are also afraid that that if we tell our stories,the weight of a single experience will collapse upon us.There is a real fear that we can be buried or defined by an experience that,in reality,is only a sliver of who we are.You realise the bottom is actually a great springboard from which to push yourself up to the surface—away from the darkness and back into the light.Brene also mentioned that we should stay strong ,remain positive and get inspired by people around us.She said:There is a crack in everything .That is how the lights get in.And if you can see the little tiny light you know for sure that is time to let it go but also start a new chapter,have a new beginning.
Letting go of the old creates space for the new and soon new ideas, people, opportunities, talents and gifts start to flood into your experience. As you empty your cup, so to speak, you fill it back up with stuff that you actually want, instead of accepting what was unconsciously passed onto you. Life hands you a fresh cup of reality.Whether overcoming adversity,surviving trauma,lost a job,ended a relationship,having a sense of purpose and perspective in our lives allow us to develop understanding and move forward.
Only once you are willing to explore your darkest depths can you truly be of service in the world. Only when the old foundations crumble can you begin to build again on new and solid ground.
And to begin you should start by buidling your survival skills and hence develop an ability to become independent. Although it is possible to continue to depend on your parents even on other siblings or your spouse for the rest of your life, it is in your best interest to realize that everyone in your life that you depend on will one day no longer be around. Some will move away, some will stop talking to you, and they all will eventually die. The only person that who will always be with you is you. If you depend on yourself for support, you will never be let down.Life is hard and making mistake is part of the learning process. Dream high but in the same time ,be realistic .No one will pay for your food ,your house or your clothes .Just because you deserve something does not mean you will get it. Realize and accept these things as a fact of life. Keep your goals in sight, stay happy, and do not let the unfairness of life demoralize you. Life is hard and everyone else has had to overcome obstacles, why can’t you seem to figure it out?Life is like a jungle .Learn to survive with the tools and equipment which are available. Find out what it is like to survive out on your own, without help from anyone. Clearly, this is not a good idea if you can not afford it financially. Refrain from depending on others to define your goals for you. Life is what you make it.Understanding our behaviours and feelings through a vulnerability lens rather than strictly through an addiction lens could change all your life.Stop getting addictive to people and try to deal with vulnerability via simple steps.Release attachments.Stay positive and create steps that will aid you to a better tomorrow.There is so much to write and debate but I will stop here and I want to sum up with this beautiful quote:“We can’t be afraid of change. You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in, but if you never venture out of it, you will never know that there is such a thing as an ocean, a sea. Holding onto something that is good for you now, may be the very reason why you don’t have something better.”
― C. JoyBell C.