Omg ,I think the debate could blow off some people mind but some of the peeps could easily tell me:”Mind the language, young lady!”Anyway feel free to add the comments.Although some people may think the forum is not appropriate for such topic I believe that we as professionals we should share knowledge which could be life saving for others.
Anyway the topic is wide spread around the internet, social media, schools and other relevant forums and internet traffic. Some parents may think is appropriate to talk about sex and other not.
Today I want to solve the dilemma. The subject was wide extrapolated by the psychologists and human scientist. The wider the topic, the more information received however from the psychologist perspective every person has a basic feeling about being ok or not ok and this is developed at younger age.
Torn by conflicts at youngest age could affect the person identity and ultimately the way that person develops. Understanding your sexuality will help you to understand your thought, feeling and action and finally to acknowledge who you are and consciously work at changing from the old to the new.
According to M.James and D.Jongeward sexual identity is strongly influenced by the parent of the opposite sex-father to daughter, mother to son. If a father holds that women are not-OK, a daughter is likely to adapt by negating her own feminity.She may also see other women as not-OK because she looks at them through her father’s eyes. The mother –son relation is comparable.
The ideology was strongly analysed by Eric Berne in his transactional analysis book” I am Ok –You’re Ok.
A man who trust women and believe they are ok will tend to marry a woman who will serve as a good model for their daughters. In a like manner, a woman who trusts and appreciate men will tend to pick a good model for their father of her future son.
So peeps, what about sexual expression? How do we express ourselves? Do we use the parent ego, child ego or we use the teacher ego?
Each individual has archaic feeling in the child ego state about whether the individual aspect are Ok or not OK.Children are sexual people.They actively seek to discover their sensuousness through exploring all part of themselves.This kind of exploration is natural but needs adaptation for the child to be socially accepted. Therefore people who often suffer from sexual inadequacies have been made to feel ashamed of their body or to feel afraid of the consequences of their sexual exploration.
One another hand people who feel that their sexual organs are dirty or bad or that sexual pleasure is sinful have usually been caught and ridiculed at an early stage for their sexual inquisitiveness. Furthermore ridicule fosters a culture of shame.As analysed the psychologists the internal Little professor often outwits or outguesses parents, psyching out parental messages and trying to figure out what parents consider right or wrong in sexual behaviour. At this time the child become curious and gather information from external sources eg keyholes,magazines,movies and tries to sauce it out the bombardment of sexual innuendos. This is also the period when child learn to manipulate others into sexual plays.(please read my post “what games people plays” ).
At the growing up stage the little professor remains active concerning sex, continuing to psych out partners for sexual games, how to appear desirable or seductive, when and where to make an overture, how to set the scene to turn someone on and how to bloody fake a sexual response.
There is more to say at the psychological level. I just managed to give you in introduction into the topic. And is ok to talk about sex as we all have sexual identities which were deep embedded by our early childhood.Neverlast its totally up to you if you wish to play the victim, the persecutor or rescuer in your relationship.
Whatever messages you received as a child it is OK to get through the phased of parent, child and teacher ego .That will help you to nurture and flourish your experiences affected or not by your individual identity. If these are healthy, you have the basic I am ok and you are the winner of your own game.