Melancholic

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Today while I searched on Facebook engine I discovered some pictures which were posted by one of my highschool mate .I suppose there’s a melancholy tone at the back of my mind, a sense of something lost. And it’s the lost world of innocence and worry free . It is the lost sense of innocence that we could live with a very minimal state, with a vast sense of space in which to work out freedom.A freedom I crave even after 23 years since I finished highschool.I bet I feel a bit nostalgic and that is the result of 4 days off . So ,,little holiday” has come to an end and I’m back in work in couple of hours . I have had a very restful and enjoyable time off, although bitter sweet at times as I mentioned previously. I got some fantastic news today as I was told that I have to go for an interview for My dementia course.On top of that they sent a case study which is pretty much familiar with the work I do now. This means that I may have good chances to secure a place on the above course. The plan now is to continue with research and be well equipped for the interview.However I think of high school and I realized the time flung . I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see,all the things I want to do.Although I am a grown up I still present myself pretty much as an innocent child.I am convinced that most people do not grow up…We marry and dare to have children and call that growing up. I think what we do is mostly grow old. We carry accumulation of years in our bodies, and on our faces, but generally our real selves, the children inside, are innocent and shy as magnolias.We age but we remain young in our heart.You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Try to be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud. Do not complain. Make every effort to change things you do not like. If you cannot make a change, change the way you have been thinking. You might find a new solution.So true -Maya Anghelou!!!
I grew old !Every day is a challenge I take…I have stormy days but also hope ,hope for a better future.The storm always passed but I learnt to ride …. But, this time I invite you to ride the storm with me as I tell you about its turbulent winds and raging seas. But even when the breakers and the waves crash down, there is a hope, an anchor, that when grasped will save me from the darkest and deepest moments. Not only does the anchor save, it brings life and light in the darkness so much so that I know I won’t be wanting.There is hope ,friends,family ,there is faith….. I know what’s coming and how it is likely to play out which is reassuring but I think the main challenge for me will be emotionally.I am more preapred to take each day as it comes.I lost my innocence but I gain wisdom.Time will tell what’s in store over the next days,weeks,years , but one thing’s for sure, regardless of the storm ahead and the challenge I endure, it will be used for good. I believe that one carries the shadows, the dreams, the fears and the dragons of life under one’s skin, at the extreme corners of one’s eyes and possibly in the gristle of the earlobe.I believe in me.

 

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