another day

Hi again,im here again and ready to speak my mind up . I need  to write down couple of thoughts about my feelings …I  am ready  to explore ,to unlock secluded zones  in order to function better …

oh yes , perhaps you think that I am bluffing again and all those thoughts are kind of palaver and I just have  doo-ha moments ,,,who knows ?maybe youre  right but I need to try to find my own place in order to rest my mind   .I have lived my life in a bubble ,made of my own making ,I was embryonic but I stayed dormant and somehow I liked it because it was my comfort zone ,it was  my security for years and years ….then suddenly something changed and I wanted something different ..And now freshly stripped of the delusions that had protectively swathed me for years I am awake and ready for more challenges. Perhaps I were too scared, too raw to interface directly with the world .I was stuck into a routine, into a hot cling wrap somehow warm enough to hold me there for ages . People words became my words and somehow I believed it, their voice inflection merged seamlessly into my own and I continued to be so naïve, people opinions formed a transparency over the faint etching of my own developing. How stupid I was! I played my own game –how my own happiness can be linked by other actions and feelings, even thoughts …how provoking sounded now ?barely stupid game!!!i was stripped by my own feelings –I was brainwashed !!! That’s the word!!!!and I tried to live for others and I all forgot about me ….i looked back through the stacks of photographs of me …in each picture I morphed into another identity and although years passed by the past still  hurt like hell. I wondered if I were destined to drag around the past like a broken wing.How many pieces I lost along the way. How right is the quota, be the change you want to see in the world ‘’?i don’t need to boil back in the past to see the enlighten truth – I was blind all times along the way. I don’t need to glue my broken wings before I toss it .I’m here and I enjoy the process of discovery. I know where I  am myself in this process. I have lived in a dark cave for so long but I just need time to adjust to the light. I enjoy the myriad of colours and I enjoy the feeling of being alive  …I’m somehow draught into a seemingly philosophy of discovery that allows me  to develop fully as a human being .im feeling like I was touched by an volcano but now I need to clean the ashes in order to become lush and beautiful. I was opinionated before, now I’m a non-judgmental persona.i have been taken to the bone .people around me fingered into me like the hollow of a melon and scooped me out but not they don’t do that anymore .I set free .I know what I want from my life and now I am a woman on a mission so watch out agent 007 ….

And the day starts with  a sunshine  …a little ray of sunshine ….(does anyone remember Stephen McCarthy song  ?)


I think i’ll go for a walk outside now

the summer sun’s callin my name

i just can’t stay inside all day

i gotta get out get me some of those rays

everybody’s smilin

sunshine day

everybody’s laughin

sunshine day

everybody seems so happy today

it’s a sunshine day


I think I’ll go for a walk out side now

the summer sun knows me by name

he’s callin me

I gotta get out, gotta get out, gotta get away


One thought on “another day

  1. Eqbal Khan July 7, 2012 / 4:02 am

    I always found best way to get an escape from past that is look forward with closed eyes…
    Focus on my future long term and short term plans which are not more then five … three short term one month long and two short term…not more then six months.
    Never closed you eyes to avoid past. We have to have a look with half closed one eye. That reminds us do not mistake again.
    A few sprint run on a beach before sun rise is a support hand towards your energy and strength.

    This is what I do. . . . when I dont have hand on my shoulder or a lap to put my head on…

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